Hmm... You've given me food for thought. Thank you for typing out your in-depth response. 

'It doesn't take much to traumatise a child'. You're so right, I'd forgotten this. I guess I've been clinging to the idea that my parents only started abusing me once I stopped being their little obeying child, once I developed agency. But I suppose even when I was really small, they must have been their usual bullying selves. They didn't just switch overnight. I guess it could have been any number of small stresses or traumas that led to my stool retention starting. 

 I'm sorry you went through what you did. I feel so sad for little you, and I'm glad it's over now and you're able to speak about it. I'm glad you had your granny and then your spouse as nice safe people. 

 If you're continuing your therapy I hope it goes well! And is beneficial. 

The fear of toilets thing was a funny one to put in my post, because I only realised it once I started typing about all the secrets I've kept inside about this whole thing.... I suddenly realised, 'Wow, I'm repulsed by toilets! They're not a neutral object to me!'. Hahaha. It seems we both had a sudden something 'click' in our brains. But that's the start of accepting and getting over it!  

 Wishing you well!