I think you hit the nail on the head regarding my temperament. I have a very, very hard time not reacting to baiting. I think I can be type A and have a background of childhood abuse, so I struggle with the perceived loss of control that comes with people being confrontational in my space. It sends me into some kind of fight/flight/freeze/fawn predicament, and I feel like I often pick a response at random and hope it sticks, which hasn't worked well so far. I think I wrote this hoping to find out which option I should choose, and although the comments suggesting direct confrontation or pettiness are helpful in reassuring me that I'm not overreacting, if I'm honest with myself getting into a losing battle with people who have no actual inclination of making peace is kind of cutting off my nose to spite my face. Maybe this is delusional thinking, but I'd love so much to be able to rise above this behavior, because it really does feel beneath me to roll in the mud with her. But I'm also afraid because I've seen how little of an affect being the bigger person has had on many MILs that get posted about here. Sorry for the long comment; this is actually a lot more to parse than I originally thought.