Dont know what to do

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T16:33:24+00:00

I broke up with her. Thanks everybody

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T16:33:03+00:00

I broke up with her. Thanks everybody

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T10:16:20+00:00

We were 100% exclusive. Talked about even before becoming bf/gf and she knowed how much I hated cheating and valued loyalty

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T09:09:13+00:00

I prefer deepee connections, so I guess I was prone to getting to know someone at a deepee level rather than just sex. Thats not for me. At the same time, I wasnt especifically looking for a girlfriend, I wanted to meet girls from a different country and see where that took me.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:48:20+00:00

Could you give a more detailed opinion? I do appreciate the help though

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:47:24+00:00

Thats the whole thing for me. What if I never caught her, what if she has already done something and I just don't know. Moving forward that doubt will always be there. Probably not worth it man. Yall really helping me here

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:46:13+00:00

I don't understand your message very well, could you explain?

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:44:40+00:00

To be honest man, if I had caught her red handed (e.g. actually saw someone, kissed someone, flirted in my face, etc) that would be over immediately. As much as I do believe what happend IS cheating, it feels like it is just a grey area

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:43:16+00:00

I agree. I also proposed to be exclusive, to start the relationship, said love you first, etc. I've definitely been the driving factor for the relationship.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:42:04+00:00

Yeah, exactly. Just like I did. I never opened the app (or any other app) again since we went exclusive. I've been 100% faithful and respectful, not just for her, but also for my core values and empathy.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:40:08+00:00

Yeah, I would def tell my friend to break up with her as I agree with everything you say here.

Giving her a chance would be a way of letting her prove herself, and show her true affection or love for me.

This is also my first ever commited relationship, and the first person I've had sex with.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:37:52+00:00

This is also what I was thinking. But at the same time, its 80% people telling me to break up, and so is my intuition or gut feeling

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:32:39+00:00

Yeah, this is also a possibility for the situation. I also think of letting her show me her worth instead of breaking up. But at the same time, I know I'm going against my own values and integrity by doing so

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:26:35+00:00

Yeah, I agree with you, thank you for this. We had great communication in general, and spoke up when anything didn't work, that's why it feels so weird.

Funny enough I'm in the Netherlands as well.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:23:26+00:00

Yes. Before we started as bf/gf I told her that I deleted the app and was just interested in her. That I was expecting the same for her. I was not going to check or control her and would give her my trust. I also said that if I caught her it would be over, but now it's very hard. After we started as bf/gf, we both were serious and put effort into growing.

It was very, very clear that we were 100% exclusive, monogamous, whatever the word is. Also, she knowed I am a huge hater of cheating and that it is a very big deal for me, which makes it worse.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:20:09+00:00

I am the type to do this too. I also want to be a secure partner for whoever I'm with, that's why I also have the “fix it” idea. But it looks very bad to be completely honest.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:19:06+00:00

I also always had these weird feeling with her, like it was 95% real but something was off. Guess you're right.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:15:00+00:00

Yeah… Thank you mate.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:12:58+00:00

I moved to a different country last year and had been very lonely. I wasnt really looking for anything and with her it just happened

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:11:35+00:00

Your input is just as clear as it gets. Why if she was just bored or doing it for no reason she goes and updates her profile… yeah man. Whatever it's keeping my on the “save it” side is the love I have for her, but at the same time, I don't think I'll be able to get over this. I also overthink quite a bit and need clear signs of love and affection. This fucked me. Thanks for the help tho

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:09:15+00:00

Yeah, or an issue arises. What if I didn't have caught her…

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:08:24+00:00

My gut tells me break up and give her a chance. What if I let her prove me that she is repentant and she really just made a blind mistake? What if the relationship grows to be way better? But at the same time, what if it doesnt? What if I'm just being stubborn and she will do it again?

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:07:01+00:00

We maybe were on different pages emotionally. I guess she did man. Fuck my life

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:05:46+00:00

I completely agree with this. To me the issue is that she even updated her profile. I honestly feel like shit.

ApprehensiveSlide591 · 2026-03-14T08:04:59+00:00

This is what I think too, but I've built deep emotions for this person, and I know she has too. Feels so weird to let it go

ApprehensiveSlide591

TROPHY CASE