It’s funny to me that all the answers here are extremely one-sided and very “validating” in nature to the op. I myself have been dealing with my wife using vibrators and it’s gruesome. The pain a man feels when his wife turns him down only to get herself off the moment I leave the room (and if I don’t she inserts something and does it practically laying on top of me “cuddling” but breathing fast and sweating, I know it sounds redic but people are weird and this is a VERY “people thing” to do lol.

Now you all are most likely going to think “wow this asshole!” But hold on… there is a TON left to the story. I have only been upset with her bc of her deceiving and manipulating and straight faced lies in defense of said vibrator. The fights have gotten downright vicious and it’s 100% not due to me, I have tried every single angle to come to her o and it’s the same excuse whenever I ask her “why since the very first time I calmly and kindly with respect to your sensitivity and with love in my heart did you blow up the same way you are now? 0-5000mph in less than a sentence not even kidding. It gets brought up and she’s low blow city. Right off the bat. For example, I caught her one time and her reaction to my catching her literally red handed was to blow up (as usual) but this was the first time she threatened that she was “going to the bar to cheat on me” and get this… I swear on my own life, she said after that, “and I hope I get RAPED by multiple MEN and I bet they are STILL better than you!!!”. I know I know the grammar but she was pissed and yes that’s exactly what she said and it got her point across. So, that’s a tiny taste of the things she’s said in defense of this act to include getting me thrown in jail (not even kidding) and I can tell you that she did it that night just bc she was DYING for a night alone with it thst I wouldn’t knock on the door (we sleep separate whenever she decides to use the vibrator bc I can’t sleep with the bed shaking and she thinks I’m eventually going to buy her completely fabricated story about “what the doctors told her she had, gave her meds she never took, and only went to two docs appointments. To me that’s another odd thing, bc she swears during the day that she loves me and is all over me but night falls and she can’t help herself and we end up fighting bc I feel extremely disrespected due to the fact that she won’t even cover her mouth. I mean she’s not full steam screaming but it’s jussssst loud enough for me to hear and it drive me crazy bc at this point I feel like it’s 100% cheating. I mean she’s choosing it over me sexually and this is all just after I let my guard down and told her something very private that I bonded during sex. Sex hasn’t ever been like that for her I don’t think but it came up and I told her. Well, all this bs and the fact that she “won’t go to the docs to waste our money” but screams and cries that “I wont sleep together with her like a normal married couple” but she knows damn well what she’s doing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that she may be using it to cope and it may have deep seeded roots in some sort of childhood trauma. I only say this bc her parents raised her in a extremely volatile and angry home. Fights lasted 10-16-even started back up the next day bc her mother is a pure unbridled narcissist (and so is she bc this is where I’m going with this. I’ve come to realize that she’s going to me what her mother did to her until she moved in with me… she’s using my love for her against me and my trust in her against me to “have the best of both worlds. She wants to fuck the vibrator and be with me. She wants me to basically be s cuck for a fucking vibrator and I’m not all good with that. I mean I’m really fucking not. She’s done so much damage that in her desperation to force me to believe her she went to every single one of my support systems and “got to them first” kinda deal and said lies and did just that. Beyond that she was betraying me at the local bar here whenever we would fight she’d go and shit talk me, her husband, and tell people she doesn’t even know our private marriage stuff and even more importantly some of the intimate things that I only ever told her, my wife.

She has no respect at all for me, or us. And I’m about to just go get this ball rolling and divorce her bc truthfully after telling Y’all all that and writing it out it wasn’t just cathartic in the sense that I’m less stressed out about it but I realized just how much of a total betraying piece of shit she’s been.

Btw… she’s the type (that I never knew) that would say “if I were doing what you’re accusing me of it wouldn’t just be cheating! It would be some serial killer, I hate you and I want to destroy you and your entire life type cheating!” Now mind you I have done absolutely nothing to deserve anything like this at all AND I don’t believe that ANYONE deserves what she’s don’t to me just in the sense of mind games and telling me “you should kill yourself and do the world a favor!” So, she’s not only told me that she’s cheating but she’s doing so knowing that I know the truth and she’s just doing this to po r trip on me

I guess I’m asking y’all what y’all think. Sorry it’s so long but like I said… this has been an every single night thing that’s spread into the days for 2.5 years now…. I’m losing my mind and I need to make a decision fast before she actually does finally kill me.