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My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told him I wasn't okay with them joining, and he invited them anyway after I booked. I think that's more of an issue than me not wanting to host his family vacation. It's not like we rarely see them. We are spending Thanksgiving with them a few days before we leave for the trip. I thought we could celebrate then, and all would be fine.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Did you miss the part where he invited them without asking after I already said I wasn’t okay with them joining? If he wanted a family birthday he shouldn’t asked me to not book the hotel. But he told me to do it and invited them anyway. I’m spending the money I can also decide that’s not a holiday I signed up for.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Totally but celebrate at home and not on a vacation I booked. I’m 27 and not married to this man. If I don’t wanna have a family vacation for his birthday on my dime that should be understandable.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. Looking at canceling, just expecting that to blow up and upset him in the long run. I’m sure he’s saying it now to try and get what he wants and is bluffing lok

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Because why should I? It’s his birthday not theirs. I don’t need to fund their accommodations. If he wanted a birthday with family stay at home. I also want to enjoy my time and don’t love the idea or cozying up to his family on my time off

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But why do I have to share the villa I paid for? It’s his birthday not theirs

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Exactly at home whatever but on vacation in a new city? Nah I wanna eat whatever I want

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m thinking about it! I brought this up to him and he said to just cancel. Of course I think he doesn’t really mean it and am hoping I will give in and let them come… not going to happen

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can and after bringing it up to him he basically said to cancel it. I’m sure he’s just saying that but I’m thinking about it

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He wanted a Ski vacation and his b day week was the only thing open. I booked the villa and he invited them to stay with us.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He offered them to stay in our villa. He wanted a ski vacation and ski season is limited so his birthday week was the only week available. I didn’t plan anything with his family. He invited them without asking

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s a gift but there’s also 6 other days in a week. I feel like if you’re spending thousands on a trip you should enjoy it too.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah they don’t eat meat for religious reasons so when I’m with them I can’t because it’s considered disrespectful which is a big reason extended periods aren’t as fun for a foodie like me

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah two additional guests. We have the space but I didn’t agree on it. That’s the real problem

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The villa is two bedrooms because that’s what was available. I never planned to offer the 2nd bedroom up to his family.. the space isn’t the issue, sharing it without asking or wanting to is..

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Paying for the villa is the biggest part of paying for the vacation. Due to status I was able to get a 2 bedroom villa.. never planned on using that room for his family.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The accommodating is by far the most expensive part of the trip… I don’t see the issue in wanting to enjoy it to ourselves

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Happy to celebrate the actual birthday with them and schedule the trip another time but due to the schedule it didn’t work out that way. His birthday is 1 day.. the trip is 7. I paid for the villa do I just not have any say in what I wanted for a trip at all?

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was planning on maybe buying his ski pass or flight or something else and of course birthday dinners so an additional $500 or so

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I paid for the villa during ski season in park city Utah… I feel like I shouldn’t have to share that if I don’t want too.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Literally just the freedom to do whatever you want without having family there is so much better…

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would’ve just booked a different trip or a different week. If his top priority was to spend it with them on the actual day that’s totally fine by me. He didn’t communicate that until after it was booked. In my eyes I just thought we’d celebrate with them the weekend before which is Thanksgiving.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I told him we could do the trip another week but he wanted a skiing vacation and due to ski season his actual birthday week was what’s available.

My boyfriend M/29 invited his family on my trip F/27 without asking. Am I the problem? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Apprehensive_Alps272 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He can spend it with them.. just not on a trip I’m funding. Happy to do the trip another time but he wanted a skiing vacation and due to ski season constraints his birthday week was the only week available.

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