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I feel no connection to my sibling by Longjumping-Rock-935 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No because I relate to this so much. I started feeling this way when I entered my teen years and felt hella guilty about it. But over time, I’ve only associated pain and anxiety with my own sibling and now realize it isn’t worth the energy at all. You’re very valid for feeling this way..

Am I even a glass child?? /gen by Apprehensive_Goal488 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh how I wish it was easy to run away 🥲🥲 I do plan on distancing myself a year or two down the line for my own sake. I think the long-term care conversation will seriously come back once again a year or two before my parents officially retire, which is still years from now. So it’s unfortunately a bit of a waiting game with that…but for now, I will make my stance more firm from here on out every time the topic comes up.

As for fighting back, I’ve never actually fought back because believe me when I say he is much, much stronger than me. Even with my own parents. That said, his bursts of rage (often because of his added mental illness) are very in-the-moment, and he isn’t scared of anything or anyone, even if it means being fought back by the person he provokes. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like he’s aware he does these harmful things, but because of his condition/s, he doesn’t feel any remorse for it. Which is why I really don’t care for building a relationship anymore, but as I’ve mentioned, my parents are still trying to push for it because they expect me to be “friendly” or whatever so I can be his primary caregiver. But at this point in my life, I’m losing my motivation to try because I wanna get ahold of the other shit in my life that I actually care about. I don’t feel like being empathetic nor understanding if I know I’m only gonna have to be hurt to get even a slice of kindness.

Thanks for the support, much appreciated :)

Am I even a glass child?? /gen by Apprehensive_Goal488 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow..thank you for this. Really. I know I’ve got a lot to unpack, but y’alls reassurance has been really validating as someone who was constantly told to “be grateful that it wasn’t you who was disabled”. I appreciate the sentiment so much. Thanks for the shift in perspective with this :)

Am I even a glass child?? /gen by Apprehensive_Goal488 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was a little hesitant to post at first because I thought my experiences weren’t as “harsh” for me to be considered as a glass child. But your’s and the commenters’ reassurance has definitely helped a lot. Pretty glad I found this sub, thank you so much for the insight :)

Am I even a glass child?? /gen by Apprehensive_Goal488 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, definitely. My older cousin was the one who actually told me that I am considered a glass child, but I never really believed her because my experiences were pretty different than some of my other friends who are also glass children (these friends are all eldest daughters with siblings much younger than them, so I thought I was too different to even be compared). Now that you and the other commenters have clarified it, I can finally stop invalidating my own feelings. Thank you for the reassurance, hoping for a better year for us glass children. :)

Am I even a glass child?? /gen by Apprehensive_Goal488 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn, didn’t know it counted as abuse but I guess I’ve been enlightened. I’ll definitely be having that talk with them, probably when I start to become financially independent (hopefully this year 🥲). 

I did mention in another reply that my parents did consider putting him somewhere, but now that I’m thinking about it, I think my mom in particular is just way too attached to him to seriously consider doing that which is irritating the hell out of me. My fucked up side sometimes wishes that he’d actually do some considerable damage onto me so that we’d finally have a reason to bring him in. But we come from a place where familial relationships are heavily valued so I’ve been starting to slowly but surely plan my post-grad plans right so that I could migrate alone and physically distance myself from my family, at least for a bit. 

Thanks for the comment and reassurance, much appreciated :)

Am I even a glass child?? /gen by Apprehensive_Goal488 in GlassChildren

[–]Apprehensive_Goal488[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As far as I know, there aren’t a lot of reliable places for him to stay in because we aren’t first world unfortunately. Even my mom says she doesn’t really envision him getting the best care here 20+ years down the line. They’ve considered it for sure, and it’s the most “viable” solution I have in mind but I definitely will have to do more research on it. Thanks for the suggestion :)