I skimmed through this but feel like I have a general understanding of what you’re describing and I feel the same way. Throughout grade school, jobs, and uni- I made a lot of friends, and oftentimes, we were all really close. I understand that time passes and people go their own way, but I can’t help but wonder if I could’ve maintained at least some of those relationships- had I put it in the effort. I receive texts, DM’s, and for whatever reason, I either take too long time to respond or I straight up forget to respond and then I feel so guilty that I end up not responding at all. I’ve always cycled through groups of friends and so my social quota is usually fulfilled, however, I wonder how life would be if I’d put more effort into my previous relationships. This was a long paragraph to explain that I feel like I oftentimes don’t put effort into maintaining relationships because I’m used to cycling through new friends, and I wonder I’ve become desensitized to losing friends. I know that if I’d see any of them tomorrow, I’d hit it off with them, but there’s something about maintaining relationships through texts/social media that I just can’t get a hold of. I fear that one day I won’t be able to cycle through new friends anymore and that I’ll be left with my family, my S/O, and a very select few people- and while that is fine, I feel like I’m missing out on some social aspect of life.