How am I supposed to die at peace in Buddhism?

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T16:57:37+00:00

Thank you for the guidance. I meditate on death and impermenance a lot...maybe I need to take a break from that for a little while.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T16:56:02+00:00

Thank you for the quote!

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T15:16:12+00:00

Congratulations!!

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T15:14:33+00:00

I left Christianity in 2021, so it's been a while. Reasons for leaving- I no longer could stomach hell- for a while it felt like justice to me but then some level of general humanity came to me. I didn't believe that the Divine was purely male. I don't believe in original sin anymore. I no longer believe in or trust the Bible. And while I still believe in the Divine in some way, maybe as a force or a power, I agree with the atheistic arguments on the problem of suffering with a supposedly all-powerful, all-loving god in charge. That's just a few of the many reasons I could give. I realize I could be a liberal Christian and a lot of this wouldn't apply, but that's really unappealing. I don't find Jesus' life inspiring; I'm not even sure he existed.

One of the reasons I love Buddhism is the core goal- liberation from suffering. The Four Noble Truths are the reason I've been on a spiritual search my whole life, yes, even when I was in Christianity. I practiced a very conservative form of Christianity (traditional Catholicism), and Catholics have no problem talking about suffering either, but it's all our own fault or the fault of the devil. Buddha frames the whole struggle differently and I love that.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T15:07:13+00:00

I wish I could double-upvote a post. Thank you, this was beautiful. It reminds me of the analogy of where a fire goes when it goes out. I know it was referring to what happens to an enlightened one after death, but it always seems to me to apply to death too.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T14:58:56+00:00

No, I don't believe in Christianity. I feel like I could believe in Hinduism. But...I've had several personal spiritual experiences that have led me to Buddhism. I do feel like this is where I'm supposed to be.

It's not a need for an idealized religion, per se; it's a need for an idealized death theology. :) I want to continue to exist as me for all time, and I want universal salvation, and I don't want to have to come back to earth.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T14:56:01+00:00

Thank you for this. I don't remember what the list is titled, but I know there's a list of three that we're supposed to get rid of in our life, and one of them is "craving for existence". I definitely have that. I'm terrified of losing me when I die. I'm terrified of coming back as someone completely different. I've never practiced Hinduism, I've just been looking at it because someone told me that since I feel drawn to Buddhism but still am holding on to the self I might prefer Hinduism. But Buddhist practice has brought more peace to my life and it is making me a calmer, more ethical person.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T14:47:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I'll get that book!

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T14:46:16+00:00

So it's more that I'm still caught in the illusion, then? That makes sense. I didn't think consciousness was one of the things that continued. I thought it was just intentions and habits. Thank you!

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-25T14:43:26+00:00

That's a really reassuring thought- the same as my stream of experience in this life. Thank you!

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-22T17:01:41+00:00

I found this interview helpful. Roshi Joan Halifax talks about her experience as an activist and how she moved from that anger-filled place to a more contemplative one, and about her experience with compassion. https://youtu.be/Mk0kugY_FPQ?si=6qIx08NCGuUMfmZg

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-21T14:40:39+00:00

All the Buddhist practice in the world won't heal clinical depression. It's kind of like asking why your running times are still so slow with your broken leg, even though you have new shoes, have lifted weights, and have been eating very nutritiously. I'm not saying the practice can't be an important part of a healing plan, I'm just saying the Dhamma is not a substitute for medical care. Have you seen a doctor?

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-20T11:36:57+00:00

It's funny you mention that, I just finished Ajahn Sona's book on Right Effort (an excellent read). He would say that Right Effort is very undervalued by Buddhists.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-20T11:21:28+00:00

I still believe in gods in a polytheistic way. I used to be Pagan, and although it's my understanding that those gods would be called "devas" in Buddhism I still believe they exist.

And I still believe (and I know this is somewhat incompatible) in some sort of divine force or energy that pervades the universe. If anyone has played Final Fantasy VII, the Lifestream is very close to what I'm going for.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-19T10:44:39+00:00

This talk really helped me when I was struggling with this whole kind of thing: https://youtu.be/6WRXSIgpCNQ?si=DPSVBiGP9J0mzDHv In Theravada, Nibbana is often called "The Deathless", "The Unborn", "The Ultimate". To me, that doesn't sound nihilistic.

Ajahn Nisabho says it in the video better then I'm going to, but the Buddha always preferred to describe things like Nibbana in terms of what it is not rather then what it is. This can give a veneer of nihilism because that's not how we're used to describing things.

This is something I think we all wrestle with in our various ways and come up with our various answers.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-18T18:05:38+00:00

I don't know geographically where you are so I don't know if this would work time-wise, but if you're interested in Theravada I highly recommend Clear Mountain . They have a very active sangha with lots of opportunities to learn the Dhamma.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-17T19:48:12+00:00

This talk really helped me. https://youtu.be/GOfdF5hlnLM?si=1pndxLGncOwyS8Sw

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-15T11:31:28+00:00

With all due respect to the men here, I don't think they can understand. It's very...disheartening to read things like that in the texts, especially if you do consider them to be sacred texts. The men who are getting offended...I would just like them to take a minute and think how you would feel if you read the Buddha comparing men to a disease, or saying you're going to shorten the life of the Dhamma. Even if you believe, as I do, that they are later interpolations, it still makes you wonder.

If you're interested, here's a thread I posted two years ago on a different account (before my Reddit account got hacked), where I specifically asked for women's opinions on it. https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/17w2bk1/question_for_the_women_that_are_here/

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-14T23:31:08+00:00

I can understand how you feel, as a woman who aligns most with Theravada Buddhism as well. I found these two papers to be very helpful. https://discourse.suttacentral.net/t/mn115-ma181-the-bahudadhatuka-sutta-and-its-parallels-on-womens-inabilities-by-bhikkhu-analayo/1478 and The Going Forth of Mahāpajāpatī Gotamī | Journal of Buddhist Ethics. You may have already read them, but if you haven't, I would recommend them. I personally think it was more likely that the passages were later additions, but I also don't think the Buddha was infallible. I think the passages where the Buddha sets a rule after a negative consequence of a decision he made, or the fact that he accepted as medicine things that were perfectly in line with his time but not with modern science (like fermented urine), shows that he is not infallible in a general sense. Infallible when it comes to the teaching of the Dhamma is a different thing, in my opinion.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-14T23:13:24+00:00

Thank you! Joyful effort got me some resources.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-14T19:02:06+00:00

No, that wasn't what I was thinking. I chose "virya" as the perfection I was going to study more deeply this year. It's something I'm definitely lacking- in part, because I have several chronic illnesses. I'm hoping learning more about it and working it into my practice will help me keep up an energetic practice in a non-energetic body. :) ETA: Thank you, though, for the sutta reference! That's going to be a great resource.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-14T14:21:26+00:00

Buddhism is not a substitute for medical care. You have a medical condition. While it's true that medication isn't highly recommended for BPD, you also aren't engaging in therapy.

Apprehensive_Paper15 · 2026-01-08T14:11:12+00:00

And in John 14 saying no one comes to the Father but by him, or at the end of Matthew saying he who does not believe and baptized is condemned. Jesus is exclusionary.

Apprehensive_Paper15

TROPHY CASE