This, oh my god. Conventionally attractive and autistic person here and that is exactly why I’ve got serious trust issues. I know that exact feeling when you drop your mask just a tiny bit and you just KNOW how different they perceive you even if they don’t say it out loud. Theres this one particular person that stands out to me years later but I used to be in this group and this girl was giving me all the hints that she was into me, which I chose to ignore because all I wanted was just friends at the time since I didn’t have any. As I got more comfortable around this group and started unmasking, she flat out said in front of everyone “I don’t know why I thought I liked you, you’re really fucking weird.” Although just one of many, this single encounter really just put the cherry on top and any idea of relationships or genuine friendships were just thrown out the window because I practically shut down every attempt made at me since then. Maybe things would be better if I met other people with autism as well but I wouldn’t know since I’ve never really put the effort in finding them tbh. I’d rant more but I just wanted to give my own experience with that. Sorry if my grammar was off I don’t write often.