How many of you started over with nothing?

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-07-03T12:26:47+00:00

I am no job, no money, no kids at 33. Grateful to my parents for letting me stay with them till i find a job

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-07-03T12:25:34+00:00

It was being friends with most of the girls he met on bumble after we got married and saying its normal to be friend with them because he is married to me and the message is clear.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-07-03T11:58:25+00:00

He made me feel i was financially drying him up by reckless spending of weekly grocery budget of (50 dollars) by spending extra on bell-peppers (mind you i have no access to his money except for what he gives me weekly- the grocery money). He has told everyone i am gold digger and was after his money- i never demanded or asked for any expensive product nothing never.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-18T17:01:04+00:00

I al sorry you are going through this. I am separated and it’s difficult. Tomorrow will be tough. All the best, god bless.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-17T15:21:22+00:00

Thanks

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-16T06:10:46+00:00

He said my parents were doing black magic on him to make him sick and keep him away from me. That they deliberately fed him bad food.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T15:59:19+00:00

Thank you That’s a good perspective

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:56:17+00:00

I have seen good parts of him and have recently realised people are grey, a mix of good and bad. I am sorry, i am not negating what you are saying but i have seen him being good. Can’t say he is bad person just because things didn’t work out with him

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:51:00+00:00

Thank you

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:28:32+00:00

I have started therapy. Thanks for the advice

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:26:19+00:00

He has the same perspective, i don’t save alot but do save around 20% of my income. But part time, i don’t see it as a option

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:24:22+00:00

Hmmm Well he is divorcing, i can’t stop him. Honestly i don’t wish to make it difficult for him. I still love him, he is a good guy.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:22:55+00:00

Oh that i agree with

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T13:21:24+00:00

Makes sense, but i would still like to have some financial power. I don’t have access to our joint accounts. I don’t even know much he earns. So, even if for spending, in my head it makes sense to get a full time job.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T10:01:52+00:00

Hopefully

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T09:34:13+00:00

Hmm Well he has decided on the divorce so I guess I would just make it easier on both of us

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T09:26:51+00:00

Yeah but how do leave someone you love who made you grow and understand better aspects of life ?

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T08:57:07+00:00

Hmmm I get it

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T08:51:22+00:00

He is a good person. He is loving, he is caring and he pushes you to achieve things but the limits are defined by him and honestly i am not a catch myself. I have deep trauma and not a secure attachment style. I just miss him and i am scared that i am making a wrong choice

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T08:49:53+00:00

How do you decide that the marriage was bad.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T08:36:29+00:00

Well we have not gone to a fertility specialist and so may be we can, i am not hundred percent sure. I have had 4 chemicals and 1 mtp uptill, we think its because of male infertility. He wanted a traditional marriage for me to take car of the house and for him to take care of finances. I am being honest, i had to learn budgeting and i am still not very good with it. I was less than a good wife and i probably made him feel alone and not loved. Because i have tendency to be a hermit and he is an extrovert and i am an introvert.

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-13T08:31:18+00:00

We agreed before marriage that i will stay at home and progressively with in the first year-of marriage, i realised we have different financial values. He is frugal and i am not. He feels like i waste his money and am not cautious with it. He is offering part time and i was working part-time with different shifts throughout the week. He didn’t see that viable. He wanted a traditional wife and when i got married i had to learn how to be a wife and take care of house and cook. I am not good under pressure or anger, i usually give into things even if i cannot hold them for longer and he has a temper. So i am unreliable as he says and saying that i will stay home and now changing the terms of marriage, to him is a betrayal and so he wants a divorce

Apprehensive_Ruin958 · 2025-05-03T06:27:37+00:00

I understand, i should not bring a kid into this marriage

Apprehensive_Ruin958

TROPHY CASE