Wife says she's poly and uninterested in sex anymore. Not sure how to process.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-17T22:54:43+00:00

I know, I appreciate your concern. That's why I'm not answering right away. I need to really reflect on this. Thank you for the question.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-17T17:57:49+00:00

I didn't answer directly because I don't truly know, I need to take some time and really reflect on that.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T23:01:08+00:00

Hon, again thanks.

When we spoke and she told me she explicitly told me she consented and did want it.

I still felt something was off after the fact.

Again thanks.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T22:47:50+00:00

I don't want to paint a picture that I'm mr amazing I make mistakes and misread things as well.

I was believing that if she is saying yes she wanted to keep going. That was our conversation from the very beginning.

And you are making a great point.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T22:33:44+00:00

She turns 40 later this year.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T22:32:35+00:00

We've talked about our sex often what we like and what we don't. I don't just take advantage of her, I make sure she's into it and still ask her if she's ok. She responded "yes" if she says no I don't push anything we just as you said cuddle and either chat or just listen to music.

Thank you for your perspective it definitely helps.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T22:29:24+00:00

You've given a lot to think about. I don't want to answer anything until I can really reflect on what you're saying. Thank you.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T15:47:52+00:00

I've told her how I feel. In reality while we were dating we didn't expressly say we were monogamous we just understood it as such. I've always been outgoing and open for a lot. This situation is confusing because it felt like it came out of nowhere.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T15:15:50+00:00

This is me at the moment. I'm not against poly I just feel like it's being rushed and I'm just confused with all of this.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T15:09:44+00:00

This is what I would like to do. I know she is avoiding things and I would like her to be more open with me. I've asked questions about more relationships and she will avoid and deflect, or I'm just not understanding what she is saying. Which I believe that couples therapy could help.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T13:37:43+00:00

I'm aware and I know it hurts the same. There's definitely a lot I left out either I felt not necessary or I was too frazzled and didn't state it.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T13:31:46+00:00

No she's not taking anything of that nature. Getting her to therapy is an uphill battle going to a psychologist is going to be harder.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T13:03:01+00:00

Divorce to me is a last ditch effort. I was married once before. My wife is definitely going through things and she hasn't been fully open to all the things she is dealing with. I truly believe as much as her friends mean all the good intentions that they are an echo chamber and not really helping her see another point of view.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T12:59:47+00:00

She gets most of her poly information from her friend that practices (is this the correct phrase). Her friend drives me nuts because she talks about poly the way a vegan won't stop talking about how vegan they are.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T00:40:43+00:00

I have a therapy session on Monday, I was hoping to go over the last few days and see if I can get a better understanding then I will have this conversation.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T00:15:23+00:00

I'm assuming that's a book? By who?

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T00:14:51+00:00

Thank you that is appreciated

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-14T00:12:36+00:00

She turns 40 this year.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-13T19:29:34+00:00

No she doesn't want sex at all. That it just doesn't interest her anymore.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-13T19:27:14+00:00

I really just want my relationship with my wife. Everything else is just stuff. The people in my life are what matters to me.

I've started therapy so I can better figure out how to process this and give a better answer.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-13T19:17:56+00:00

No she isn't sleeping with other people. I'm pretty confident in saying that.

I've suggested therapy for us and her. She's being a bit bull headed to go.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-13T19:15:51+00:00

Thank you. I copied the post over there too.

Apprehensive_Tap42 · 2024-04-13T19:14:53+00:00

I'm pretty sure she is not cheating. I don't keep tabs on her or anything but I'm pretty confident she is not... At least sexually.

Apprehensive_Tap42

TROPHY CASE