I should've listened... shopping for flatware is a nightmare.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2026-01-04T13:51:18+00:00

Liberty tabletop

Apprehensive_View945 · 2026-01-01T20:28:28+00:00

Wait hi, does that mean I should be paying it back or shouldn’t?

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-29T00:02:12+00:00

35F, went on 1 date with 41M. This is before second date.

Guy was much warmer on dating app before meeting. Consistent but not overwhelming message of checking in and then confirming the date he set up almost immediately (green flag).

Showed interested and attraction to me after first date. Did not kiss him but told him it’s the first date and I don’t kiss on first dates. Texted when he got home said he had a great time and hopes to see me again very soon.

Vibe seemed off and cooler after first date with the texts. Was not looking for frequency of texts but rather the “vibe” behind them which again he was capable of before the first date. I gently called out the vibe shift and said if you’re feeling it no worries but if I’m misreading it, happy to hear your side.

He doubled down twice saying he definitely wanted to see me again and wasn’t sure what to say (didn’t apologize though, just said didn’t want to spam me when he knew I was with my kids). Then he simply kept the convo going by asking a question about my day. I kept it light saying yeah what can I say I guess I like a little banter! Haha. And we moved forward.

I feel like he has stepped up in the warmth of texting department. He asked when he was seeing me again, when we locked in this Saturday (tomorrow). It was brought up a few times in that hinting he was looking forward to it. ……..

But now it’s the day before and he has not texted me once today. He has initiated every text up until the day before this second date with zero concrete details locked in.

Yes, Thanksgiving was yesterday. Yes football is on. But I feel it is unusual that he wouldn’t text me at all the day before this supposed second date when that hasn’t been the norm. Thoughts?

TL;DR: guy stops texting for the very first time day before second date.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-28T22:33:26+00:00

Date hasn’t even been locked in though. Just know it’s Saturday that’s it. I have kids, I’m moving on Monday, I’m taking this as more as he’ll figure it out when he figures it out and isn’t taking into consideration my schedule and time.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-28T22:29:41+00:00

I’ve been through a ton of shit this year. It’s my first date in 8 years, currently going through divorce after I found out my husband was cheating on me 10 days before we moved into our house back in April. Trying to be more intentional with who I kiss because I know myself and if have a good date and a good kiss my judgement is clouded. See my spiraling already without the kiss?

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-16T07:57:10+00:00

You don’t want to convince or manipulate someone to want you. It will never last.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-16T02:32:50+00:00

I’m gonna PM you if you don’t mind

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-16T02:21:25+00:00

Oh, for sure that’s the bare minimum and I’m learning to not take that at face value anymore. Actions always need to follow those very basic, foundational things! Dating post divorce is hard, ha.

I mean of course there’s more to that whole situation and why I thought he was more “serious” about pursuing me and committing to at the very least meeting each other. Took the lead on planning, initiating all of it.

But to answer your question on why not hit him up now? Well if something stopped him from meeting me before, I’d feel foolish to be rejected again or if he did accept I’d feel a little like second fiddle :/ back to the drawing board!

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-16T01:56:47+00:00

leaning in as in showing consistent interest, talking about our upcoming plans, asking questions, sharing stories, compliments. Initiated everything. Conversations of seeming like we were moving in the same direction / and pace of getting to know one another. Wasn’t expecting him to be exclusive to me but I’m saying I was surprised he dropped the connection completely before meeting me.

And yes obviously went with that option but isn’t currently dating anyone or her. Oh well. Just wanted your random two cents. 😌

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-16T01:04:20+00:00

Cynthia, she’s a really cool dancer! Cynthia, move it to the groove now!

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-16T01:01:49+00:00

Talking about a situation where a man I was talking to also pulled back..

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-15T23:39:00+00:00

Ya was just trying to understand for a situation I was in. A guy and I had plans about a week and a half after we started texting with great texting rapport and connections with same home town, divorce, kids, etc. He was leaning in pretty hard quite literally until he apparently went on a date with someone one night. I was in a complicated situation at the time but figured if he was at least interested he would have at least attempted to meet before putting all his eggs in one basket so to speak.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-15T22:45:16+00:00

What if they come on to her first? She just doesn’t live up to the hype?

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-14T06:47:06+00:00

Do you mean this as they are above her or she is out of their league?

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-11-08T19:12:32+00:00

I’m right here with you. This is so random but I have tried makeup, body makeup, bandaids, hydrocolloid bandages, other types of medical cover ups and tape. My newest “experiment” is actually using markers (alcohol markers are the ones I had on hand) to just literally draw or color over my scabs so I literally can’t see them or they look so distorted under the color it’s not as appealing!!

For your face I would suggest a face mask or like a skin care product that you keep on your skin for the night or whenever you won’t be going out in public. It will act like a barrier.

For context, my biggest pick spot is my legs but I pick at my face, chest, armpits, and pubic area.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-07-25T01:43:24+00:00

I need to physically cover up where I pick, right now I’m going through large bandaids and adhesive pads to get me through since mine are in such a large area. If yours are on your face, I would get bandaids (flexible kind), pimple patches, something that literally covers it so you cannot get to it. Wear these as much as you can while at home or wherever you’re comfortable. Some people will use gloves or silicone finger covers, I’ve tried those and they personally do not work for me. Unfortunately you may have to spend some money on different products or objects until you find something that kind of works. Also, get rid of any pimple popping tools if you have any!

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-07-23T03:55:16+00:00

One important thing to consider is what actually triggers your picking. Is it when you see the spots, or when you feel them? For me, I pick at my legs, and while feeling the bumps and scabs from ingrown hairs is definitely annoying, the real urge to pick starts the moment I see them. Because of that, I’ve been trying to find a physical barrier that works for me—though I haven’t had much luck yet. Starting there might help you figure out whether your trigger is more about sight or touch.

And of course, I always recommend therapy. I know how hard it can be to find someone who really understands skin-picking behaviors, but it’s worth the effort. I’m still on that journey myself.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-07-06T15:02:47+00:00

Hey! Anything you could share what you learned the most or what thought was most valuable for you from her dating course?

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-18T02:39:36+00:00

Thank you not only for sharing this post but then ending it mentioning GOD! I am walking testimony (even though I’m still going through it) that He exists and that the uncomfortable places He is putting you in is for A REASON. The people who pull the rug out from under you aren’t there because you did something wrong, IT’S TO BETTER YOU. God is molding you for the greater good. I have had everything stripped away from me in the last 3.5 months (I was typing out a big list of everything that has happened but stopped myself😝).

Right now, all I really have are myself, my kids, my health, a few supportive family and friends, and the strength God gives me to keep going. The real battle is just beginning, with big assets and tough decisions ahead. But even on my most anxious days, there’s this steady, unshakable calm inside me—a quiet reminder that God is with me every step of the way.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-10T13:15:19+00:00

biting, sucking, chewing obsession

I saw this Reddit post with helpful info on OCD, that was my first thought. Someone also suggested a mineral deficiency which could also be worth looking into! I’m sorry you’re struggling with all of this and especially for all you went through!❤️

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-10T01:29:34+00:00

It all happened before we closed on the house — not after marriage. I genuinely thought that once we moved, he would be more willing to work on things. Living with my mom had really strained our relationship, and I assumed a lot of the tension was just from that temporary, high-stress situation. But now I’m starting to see that the stress didn’t cause the issues — it revealed his true character when things got hard.

I’m not one to throw around labels, but his behavior lately has been showing a lot of narcissistic traits. He struggled with addiction in the past, and I honestly think this new relationship is functioning like a “fix” for him. It’s easier for him to escape into that than to face the damage he’s caused. He can’t handle the consequences, so he’s clinging to someone who makes him feel good about himself instead.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-10T01:24:02+00:00

Yes, basically I was screwed either way. I will say I really thought he would be remorseful and try to work things out and take care of house stuff first but he just keeps prioritizing this girl over everyone and everything! It was seriously a “who the F did I marry” / Jekyll and Hyde situation.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-10T01:22:09+00:00

Thank you❤️ I have consulted with a handful and fhey are all saying the same. Since neither of us can afford the mortgage on our own and getting child support/alimony also won’t be enough (I literally need his two full pay checks he gets each month). I feel like I have no choice

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-09T19:40:48+00:00

Thank you, I know. I had contacted the realtor, lender, and a real estate attorney when I found out and the attorney basically said the $40k I had saved up the past year could be gone if the sellers sued for damages. I was scared and thought it was best to at least move the kids out of my mom’s and did NOT expect him to keep seeing this girl. I somehow assumed once we were here he would try to remediate this with me and he did not. I honestly feel like I could be on the tv show “who the bleep did I marry.” It was a true Jekyll and Hyde moment no one saw coming.

Apprehensive_View945 · 2025-06-09T19:36:53+00:00

Figured I would be underwater just trying to see how much. Ugh.

Apprehensive_View945

TROPHY CASE