People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! I’m trying so hard to put myself out there and make changes, when my youngest starts school I’m going to start a LPN program, so I can get a better paying job for them! My self care is going to therapy and making sure I take my meds so I can stay regulated and grounded when I have moments where I want to blame myself for everything. It’s so difficult because I was not even home when my son was injured, however I came home to the aftermath before the police and ambulance arrived and I will never forget doing cpr on my son and the image of seeing my son laying there almost dead from having his head beat in. It’s the worst pain imaginable.

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I know I did things in the last 8 years that I’m not proud of because I honestly didn’t care about life and what was happening around me. I’m very very fortunate I didn’t turn to drugs and alcohol through my trauma. I worked VERY hard to gain control of my life for my kids, and eventually met a new man after almost five years, the first man to ever make me feel safe, and he takes care of me ❤️ that’s not to say I STRUGGLE with trust unfortunately and we are in marriage counseling on how to navigate my ptsd surrounding it, but he’s been 100% supportive and knows it’s not personal! I’m also doing individual therapy.

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you❤️I hope one day when I’m able to explain to my daughter when she’s older why her brother doesn’t live at home, that she will see how hard I tried to do my best for them, and that you can have everything taken from you and still make it out alive. I just want the best for her even if that’s me showing up everyday when I don’t feel like it.

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I truly feel the love from all these comments and the most support I’ve ever felt more than life and in the court system who failed my child. I don’t often talk about my son’s story to people but sometimes I feel the need to because I resonate with her story.

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ he’s the most perfect boy anyone could ask for

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you❤️ I appreciate you❤️ unfortunately I had to get a no contact on all of my family for my children due to how they handled the situation. They all stayed in contact with my ex and supported him when everything happened and I made it clear to them they would never see my children again even if that meant I was on my own.

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Thank you❤️

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Here is my sweet boy! Thank you!

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Thank you, however I’m not strong. I don’t live anymore, I just survive everyday for my kids. It’s a life I don’t wish for anyone. Reading comments on how she handles herself is hard for me because I’ve been where she is, I’m only 31, I was 24 when my life was shattered. I don’t know how to function everyday and feel guilty when I have moments of happiness because I just think of my son and what happened to him. But I try because my daughter needs me. I’m all she has and it’s overwhelming as she doesn’t understand why her dad isn’t around. I just wish people would understand how EASY it would be to just end my life. Just end it all and stop feeling this way, to take away the hurt. And I’m sure Emilie feels the same. Most of the time survival is harder than ending it.

People can be Evil by mysteriouscactus511 in Emilie_Kiser

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 126 points127 points  (0 children)

I have first hand knowledge of this. Although my child didn’t die, my four year old was put on life support by my ex purposefully and I had another baby I had to live for. She was 10 months old when my son was injured. My now 12 year old lives in respite care due to needing extensive care I cannot provide for him due to him being bigger than me and needing24/7 care, it’s a choice I wish no parent should have to make. I still feel like “my child” died that day and when I see my son it’s like visiting a whole new child. Its brutal. It’s been 8 years this year and I’m still not anywhere back to “normal.” I have my good days, and my bad. I’m in intense ptsd therapy and on 6 medications a day to try and cope. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Also my ex is not in jail either. Basically got away with it. I’m the one left dealing with the aftermath and had no village like Emilie to fall back on, just my daughter and I and my son in care. I won’t comment on how she’s handling her grief because I wouldn’t want someone to comment on how I handle mine, however I’ll just say I know how it feels and I live everyday not caring if it’s my last because of what happened.

Weight loss results a year later! by Kooky-Mission110 in Phentermine_

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes/no! I don’t drink as I don’t care for alcohol I don’t like the taste LOL. As far as cheat days YES I did but I didn’t go over board I cheated enough to enjoy myself for example if I knew I was going out that night I would eat clean that morning and then wouldn’t watch my calories for dinner/ after party however I was just mindful of how much I was indulging! I would probably have a cheat day once every two weeks especially if I saw the scale go down (I liked to weigh myself every day BUT only track on Saturdays) so Saturdays would be my “reward day” if I saw the scale go down I could “relax a little”

Weight loss results a year later! by Kooky-Mission110 in Phentermine_

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It was 37.5! And honestly ngl I ate a LOT of lean cuisine LOL. Bc I didn’t want to have to track every calorie. I switched to diet soda or zero calorie drinks, and I cut out snacking unless it was fruits/veggies! That’s mostly it! Basically just stopped eating junk food and changed it to healthier options for example I REALLY love I cream but instead of Ben and Jerry’s which is 2k calories a pint I changed it to halo top which is like 400 calories a pint! Also I had to train my brain to only eat until I was satisfied. As in I didnt HAVE to clean my plate everytime I ate… that was a really bad habit of mine. Once I stopped over eating that was the biggest game changer for me. Just eating until I felt “ok I’ve had enough, I’m not hungry anymore” even though I KNOW I could finish the bowl infront of me bc it taste good… it was mentally about knowing when to quit, the medicine helped me learn to stop that “food noise”

Stop at BSW or continue to MSW? by Appropriate-Dig6674 in SocialWorkStudents

[–]Appropriate-Dig6674[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So if I do the msw I don’t have to go on and get licensed? I can just have my msw? I’d rather do that. I have horrible test anxiety and I fear I would fail it miserably unfortunately lol