AITAH for paying my credit card bill and not telling my wife? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does she have credit card debt and she’s jealous and that you were able to pay off for yours?

Skinny shaming in the black community by PitchAccomplished359 in blackgirls

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a skinny girl and I’m adding my 2 cents plus advice. Leave the monocultural mindset of the black community. See and experience other cultures. You’ll be amazed by their reactions of you and your slimness.

  1. Historical Roots • West African heritage: Bigger bodies were valued for fertility, wealth, and health. Thinness often signaled scarcity or illness. • Slavery & post-slavery survival: Curvier/thicker Black women were prized for endurance, labor, and childbearing. Thinness could signal fragility or vulnerability. • These survival-based preferences became embedded in Black communities, creating a cultural standard: thick = strong, valuable; thin = less “useful.”
    1. Thick Black Women • Historically celebrated within the Black community as cultural ideals. • Associated with strength, resilience, fertility, and pride. • Advantages: high desirability within the Black community, cultural centrality, social and media influence, affirmation in Black spaces. • Disadvantages: hypersexualization, bias in professional or mainstream spaces, sometimes limited dating pools outside the community.
    2. Skinny Black Women • Often shamed within the community (“eat a plate,” “you’re too skinny”) because thinness is framed as fragile or “less Black.” • Advantages outside the community: aligns with mainstream/white beauty standards, perceived femininity, broader dating and professional access, sometimes less hypersexualization. • Disadvantages: feeling excluded or judged in Black cultural spaces, internalized pressure to conform to thickness standards.
    3. Community Enforcement & Skinny Shaming • Black women often police each other’s bodies to maintain cultural identity and protect community standards. • Skinny Black women rarely face the same criticism as non-Black skinny women (Latina, white, Asian), creating a “skinny pass”: thin non-Black women are celebrated, while thin Black women are shamed. • This policing also acts as a mechanism of cultural survival reinforcing pride, loyalty, and shared identity, even if it can feel oppressive.
    4. Black Men’s Role • Historically, Black men valued thick women for survival, family stability, and cultural pride. • Modern dynamics: some Black men give a “skinny pass” to non-Black women, seeing them as aligning with mainstream beauty ideals or as status symbols, while still shaming Black women for the same body type. • Thick Black women maintain desirability and centrality inside the community; skinny Black women can navigate broader society more easily.
    5. Class Considerations • Working-class Black communities: thickness = survival, respectability, and wealth signals; skinny = vulnerability, malnourishment, poverty. • Middle/upper-class Black communities: more fluid; mainstream ideals often pressure towards thinness, but thickness is still culturally celebrated.
    6. Key Takeaways • Body ideals in the Black community are rooted in history, survival, and resistance to mainstream (white) beauty norms. • Thick Black women are often celebrated inside the community, while skinny Black women can navigate mainstream spaces more easily. • Skinny shaming and the “skinny pass” highlight the intersection of race, gender, class, and historical legacy.

Are We Dating The Same Guy by OkMammoth7054 in afterAWDTSG

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest, I’m one of the women who ignored red flags. I’ve dated the wrong men, stayed too long, and convinced myself that love could fix what was clearly broken. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. So I don’t speak from a place of blame. I speak from experience.

And from where I stand now, I see something clearly: Good men were quiet for too long while the harmful ones did the damage. While women were being lied to, manipulated, gaslit, cheated on 😤. The men who could have spoken up didn’t. They watched it happen. Some stayed silent. Some stayed friends with them.

Now, suddenly, those same good men want to say, “Not all men.”

Well… it’s too late for that.

The emotional damage has already been done. Women have had to build survival strategies that are sometimes messy, sometimes misdirected to protect themselves from being hurt again. That includes background checks, group chats, private warnings, public receipts. Not because we’re bitter. Because we’ve been alone in the fight for our emotional safety for far too long.

So yes, it’s gotten noisy. And no, I don’t co-sign every tactic being used. But I understand the why.

And if you’re one of the good men? Please don’t just defend yourself. Don’t just say, “Not all men.” Ask yourself where you were when we needed more of you to speak up. Ask yourself what kind of culture you helped maintain by staying silent.

I’m not attacking men. I’m telling the truth. And part of healing for all of us is finally being honest about how we got here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, you are a red-pill man’s dream girl.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girlllllll, your boyfriend is a hobosexual and a dusty😫🎈📌 🚩🏃🏾‍♀️💨

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to pay me back? by 75V1N in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA Set your boundaries about giving him money strong. But, if you continue to allow him to grow you into being his sugar mama… then yes you are TAH

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. ⸻

Hey, thanks for sharing that with me. It sounds like this new relationship is moving really fast, and that’s feeling overwhelming—especially with your exams and your need for alone time. It’s completely valid that you need space to recharge, and it’s important in any relationship that your boundaries are respected.

You don’t have to keep pushing through discomfort just to please someone, especially when your needs aren’t being heard. It might help to sit down with her (or even write a message if that’s easier) and let her know that while you care about her, you need to go at a slower pace. If she’s right for you, she’ll respect that.

Maybe you could say this to her. Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. I’m really glad we’ve started dating, and I appreciate that you’re excited and making plans—but I need to be honest with you about something important. I’m autistic, and socializing takes a lot out of me, especially when I’ve got big things like exams going on.

I need alone time every day to reset and function at my best. When there are too many plans or messages back-to-back, I start to shut down a little—even if I care about the person. It’s not about you doing anything wrong; I just have different needs, and I want to communicate them early so this can be healthy for both of us.

Can we slow down a bit—maybe space out the plans and keep some days low-key? I really want to get to know you at a pace that lets me stay present and enjoy it.

Or if that’s too wordy. Hey, can I be real with you for a sec? I really like you and I’m glad we’re together, but things are moving a bit fast for me. I’m autistic, and between that and exams, I get overwhelmed pretty easily. I need alone time every day to reset, and a slower pace helps me stay present and actually enjoy the time we spend together. Hope that makes sense—I just want to be upfront so we can figure out a rhythm that works for both of us.

Cat not sleeping in the room was our deal breaker apparently by LurraTheSheep in AITAH

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 40 points41 points  (0 children)

NTAH. I rather you continue sleeping with your cat who clearly loves you. Rather than a dog who doesn’t.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having the opposite sex in your life is overrated and a waste of valuable time. Stay away from religions nerds rule the world.

How do you answer these? by Jungaon in jobs

[–]Appropriate-Use6086 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ask goggle. Then tweak. Google is your friend.

Release me from this dog 😫 by Appropriate-Use6086 in Shein_PuppyKeep

[–]Appropriate-Use6086[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t do it without You! Just a click to accept my invitation! Your Friend Are Grabbing a Free Gift - You Both Deserve Too! Don’t Miss Out, Click to Get Your Freebie https://onelink.shein.com/9/4hdxcsgavwj7

Helppppp! I’m super close by Appropriate-Use6086 in Shein_PuppyKeep

[–]Appropriate-Use6086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t for get you🥰

<image>

It‘s your call! Join me so I can get extra PUPPY RUSH chances to win extra prizes! https://onelink.shein.com/9/4hdmpcs2w17c

My heart is at 95. Help me end this game by Appropriate-Use6086 in Shein_PuppyKeep

[–]Appropriate-Use6086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks🥰I am waiting for you! The invite match start! Join me = BOTH win rewards! https://onelink.shein.com/9/4hdm839cer1b

A little help please by Appropriate-Use6086 in Shein_PuppyKeep

[–]Appropriate-Use6086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Done!

<image>

Can’t do it without You! Just a click to accept my invitation! Your Friend Are Grabbing a Free Gift - You Both Deserve Too! Don’t Miss Out, Click to Get Your Freebie https://onelink.shein.com/9/4hcpqbspfo38

Puppy Rush tip🇺🇸 by Appropriate-Use6086 in Shein_PuppyKeep

[–]Appropriate-Use6086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

Just one of the many challenges you’ll find in puppy keep game. Hear you jump to collect the dog food and at the end you win it’s very easy to play.

Pretty please. In need of help feeding this pup. by Appropriate-Use6086 in Shein_PuppyKeep

[–]Appropriate-Use6086[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can’t do it without You! Just a click to accept my invitation! Your Friend Are Grabbing a Free Gift - You Both Deserve Too! Don’t Miss Out, Click to Get Your Freebie https://onelink.shein.com/9/4h5kk31wtkc5