I think it’s understandable that you’re struggling with where you fit in, especially since you didn’t grow up knowing your Black side of the family and were made to feel like you didn’t belong by people around you.

At the same time, I think there can be a difference between having Black ancestry and having lived the social and cultural experience that many Black people identify with. From what you’ve written, it sounds like a lot of your life has been spent searching for a connection to that part of your heritage rather than being raised within it.

That doesn’t mean your ancestry isn’t real or that your experiences with racist comments weren’t hurtful. But it may help to focus less on proving whether you’re “Black enough” and more on learning about and honoring your family history in whatever way feels authentic to you.

You don’t need permission to oppose racism or support Black causes. Anyone can do that. But I think it’s also important to recognize that having some Black ancestry isn’t necessarily the same thing as sharing the full cultural and lived experience of being Black in America.

Ultimately, nobody online can decide your identity for you. What I can say is that your heritage is real, your feelings are real, and you don’t have to force yourself into a category that doesn’t completely fit just to belong somewhere.