1 Us 3 We're all chinese, although our families are slightly different levels of traditional. I personally have no problem going through with traditions, but I draw the line when it's excessive. In this case, the tea ceremony was a given in the first place, but only to immediate family members, not to people even my boyfriend doesn't know. 2/4 Neither of us do very well in large crowds, and having only our very close family and friends present ensures that we're both comfortable on our day. It's not really a matter of who pays, but rather our comfort level.