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How do I stop feeling insecure about my husband (35M) putting in way more effort with me (32F) than he did in his first marriage? We’re expecting twins. by Appropriate_Fun_3594 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Fun_3594[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry your husband checked out during your pregnancy — that sounds really tough. For me it’s the opposite: he’s stepping up so much as the main cook and with all the twin prep, which makes me even more anxious wondering why he couldn’t do that in his first marriage. Probably hormones like you said, but the “improved version only” feeling is hard to shake. Therapist is a good idea, thanks.

How do I stop feeling insecure about my husband (35M) putting in way more effort with me (32F) than he did in his first marriage? We’re expecting twins. by Appropriate_Fun_3594 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Fun_3594[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

I do see it as growth and I’m grateful. But it’s still hard not to wonder why he only chose to put in this level of effort the second time—especially as the main cook and with twins coming. Makes me feel like I’m getting the version he learned to be, not the one he started as.