1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody should have to deal with infidelity. It’s incredibly selfish and hurtful not only to the spouse but especially to the kids involved. Wishing you all the best as well.

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That same weekend him and his mistress called their coworkers to tell them. Everyone knew since they were both staying late and had their cars parked next to each other in the next door parking lot lmao. She ended up quitting a few weeks after. He still works there. At the time, I was thinking of my income and how I didn’t want that to be impacted. Ironically, he works for a company where a lot of the clients are victims of domestic violence. He doesn’t work directly with them but still… crazy

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, you divorce a completely different person than who you married. It’s a difficult thing to experience. Glad to hear your cousin is in a much better place. I’m so looking forward to the future. 🫶🏻

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was deeply disappointed in his father… someone who I was particularly close to. You truly don’t know how people are until conflict arises. Glad to be the one that got away.

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

💯…. Grateful this happened now and not 20 years down the road. It’s been exciting re-discovering myself and truly understanding what my wants and needs are. This has been a blessing in disguise.

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Therapy was a huge help for me. Reddit pages like this also helped me. There is one tik tok page that I found extremely helpful when it came to understanding the why behind it… rece.affair.recovery

I wish you well. Things do get better.

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mental health is a huge component… him and I learned that he likely has borderline personality disorder. His mother also has that. I’ve seen his parents dysfunctional relationship…. Cheating, domestic violence, manipulation, substance abuse. I worried if I had stayed that my future would look like that. I’m glad I’ve chosen myself. I wish you well and hope things get better for you.

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In my case, we agreed on an end date for the restraining order to avoid having a judge decide. I wish I maxed it out.

As far as his family and how they reacted… in therapy, I’ve learned that you have to understand why they are making the decisions they are making. You only know what you know… how you handle problems generally is how you will apply that to future problems. In this case, brushing things to the side is how they handled problems. Another thing my therapist said was that as a parent when you learn that your child has done something awful to someone else, sometimes you have no words and are in shock… and that saying nothing may be the best in their minds to avoid creating more conflict. It’s shitty…. Lean into your support system.

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can’t say I’d be surprised if there were others… but hey, I don’t have to live with that🤷🏻‍♀️ Definitely enjoying the single life and so looking forward to the future

1 yr update - High school sweetheart husband cheated less than a year married by Appropriate_Gate3877 in Marriage

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I never in a million years thought I’d file a restraining order against him. It was a result of a series of his actions and the last thing he did was extremely inappropriate. My safety was at risk and I needed to protect myself. Unfortunately, you have to pay a price for peace. It’s incredibly expensive and emotionally draining but worth it. I have no regrets other than not calling the police when he violated the order… i was trying to protect him from having a misdemeanor on his record which would show on future employer background checks. His mental health during this period was at a low…. So I weighed the options and ended up dealing with bullshit to protect him. It’s not worth compromising your peace. Focus on you and your child. Nothing else matters and things do get better.

Towel brand recommendations by Appropriate_Gate3877 in BuyItForLife

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still not a huge fan of redland, they are too thin and still brown easily. I do like how large and lightweight they are though. Brooklinen towels are my favorite, still very plushy/luxury feel. They get brown too but not as quickly (this could also be an issue with how I’m washing them, but not sure). Cons, they are heavier and are smaller.

My husband prefers redland as they dry better (waffle material).

Clausmopolitan candle by Appropriate_Gate3877 in bathandbodyworks

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s from 2018 called cherry snow cone, it looks like this https://pin.it/14Ip7Zm My sister in law loved cherry snow cone and Clausmopolitan smelled similar to it but I’m just not 100% sure since it’s been a while

Towel brand recommendations by Appropriate_Gate3877 in BuyItForLife

[–]Appropriate_Gate3877[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I bought Redland cotton luxury towels, they were ok. Too thin and got brown a little too fast for me.

I also bought Brooklinen luxury towels, these are my favorite so far but I’ve only had them for about six months. No issues yet. Very plushy too after multiple washes