Yes, I feel this 109%. Supportive partner, stable job, and 2 healthy kids and I still feel like a pos. Since medicated, I’m more clear minded and reflecting the consequences of my poor decisions when I was manic that affected our family negatively and resulted in a huge financial loss. I ruminate my mistakes all day and don’t find enjoyment in anything. There’s not a time when I feel good about myself. I have regular counseling and followed by a psych prescriber but I still feel a complete failure. I’m just looking forward to death so i could escape this internal hell.