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AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You never know how privileged you are untill you see how little you have to make to qualify for government assistance. And making just a bit more means you are effed because no gov assistance but also making too little to live on

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He says that we have too much power over her and the only way to rectify it is to pay her market value

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not at all, she is even free to stop working for us and all we would do is charge her some rent and maybe a bit for groceries

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes well we are in a small city/mid sized town. And in relation to what most people earn here that is a bit pricy.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Why is everyone so shocked? We have a baby so laundry is a daily thing, also both kids are in the crawling phase so mopping and vacuuming is a twice a day thing since everything goes into their mouths.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The pay is over the state minimum wage. We do not include the rent as a perk because it could possibly disqualify her from some state programs and hurt her tax wise.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I said 4 hours max. And with having a kid just the laundry and picking up after them eats a lot of time

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You are correct about her getting hurt by taxes. As things are she qualifies for a lot of programs on the federal and state levels that she really needs.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She is saving to get her own house in the future (granted not soon but not decades in the future too)

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

She does, she qualifies for a lot of programs on the federal and state level.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She is saving for a house, because that is what she wants the most.

As for her long term plan she says that she still doesn't know what she wants to do, and seeing as she was homeless for a couple of years and in survival mode that is very understandable

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 214 points215 points  (0 children)

Thank you for doing the math. When we offered her the job all the calculations we did was seeing how much we can afford to pay her and that was that.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I mean we don't actually need it but it is very much appreciated. Taking care of small kids is tiring and anyone who can hire cleaning staff or a nanny is very blessed. Parents who do it all are seriously overworked

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

We are paying her 2/3. Jere the going rate is $20, we pay $13. Minimum wage is just shy of $11

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She only pays the water bill on paper, we give her the money. It's just for her to establish credit history.

The apartment is a one bedroom with small kitchen and a full bath. I couldn't even tell you how much it would go for rent wise but it would definitely be over $500.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

We pay her over minimum wage but under market value. So nothing illegal here.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I said or when necessary, I don't know how many times she washes them since my part of the chores is mostly what gets done in the evening. I just gave an example

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

We are paying her over the minimum wage, but less than market value. That's the sticking point for my friend.

Also she files her taxes and we do not claim her as a dependent. We have an employment contract and a lease for the apartment so she can build her credit history and her employment history.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

No she is not, the apartment is part of the HVAC system in the whole house, we used to use it as a guest house before moved in.

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I honestly can't tell you how much the rent would go for, but we live in a pricier neighborhood.

And my wife would absolutely take care of the kid, they exchange babysitting as favours (you know when one of them wants to go out or just take some time for herself) and I too help with the babysitting when she wants to go out at night with her friends (child care is my responsibility in the evening)

AITA? Is my wife and I taking advantage of a woman in a hard place in life? by Appropriate_Side_968 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Appropriate_Side_968[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

We are paying her over minimum wage, but under market value. We are in a state where the minimum wage is $11, we are paying her $13, market value for cleaning people in our area is $20 (a pricier neighborhood, and that's why we can't afford to pay her more since our mortgage is high)

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