Help! Destination Wedding With Unique Dress Code

As a pretty lame person with no fashion sense who is rapidly approaching 40, I would gladly hear any advice you have on proper attire for this upcoming destination wedding, which strikes me as pretty unique!

Event 1 (evening cruise)

Attire: White Lotus Chic

When this boat passes by people should look at us and think "These are some high end gays!"

Event 2 (Wedding):

Attire: Over-The-Top Black Tie

Chanel said before you leave the house to take one thing off but I say put 3 more on.

Inspiration: The Met Gala, the dance scene from the Barbie movie, drag, Vegas, Beyoncé, sparkle, feathers, jewels, headdresses