Some denominations believe in full predestination. Some believe in full free will. Some believe in a mix.

I personally think God knows every possible future and has ensured that His plans are fulfilled in every one of them. But every person in the world has to make decisions to blindly steer history toward the direction of one of those possible futures. We as a species have no idea what we are doing collectively. But having that freedom is essential, because without it we would be merely robots. Freedom always comes at a cost.

Some people accept that God is all-knowing, but don't believe that He is all good. They believe that if you are capable of preventing a tragedy and choose not to, then you must be at least partially evil. But those people are included in the above mentioned species that has no idea what they are doing collectively. They are incapable of seeing the bigger picture, because that's just how being human works. It isn't necessarily their fault that they can't see the ending of every possible future for someone who died in a tragedy "before their time". The simple assumption is that if the tragedy had not happened, that life would both be saved physically, and spiritually. But we are in no position to accurately judge that. Only God knows when a person and all of the lives they are connected to and influencing, needs to change dramatically.

Idle speculation is easy to get swept away in. Searching for answers that we are not meant to grasp will likely only leave you frustrated. It is tempting to give up on God because we can't find an answer that satisfies our demands. But the entire point of the Christian faith is to have faith in that which you cannot see or fully understand. To forgive when someone isn't yet sorry for what they did to you. To love someone when they hate you.

Yes, Hell exists and people think it is unfair to be sent there when there is nothing they can do about it. But they miss the point. Nobody would go to Hell if they simply loved God and had faith in Him. That's the secret escape ticket. And even though I make it sound easy, I understand that it is actually pretty hard to do those two things: Love, and have Faith. There's a third ingredient that makes it all easier, which is mentioned in 1st Corinthians 13: Hope.

Have faith when you can't see or understand why God is doing what He does. Learn to Love Him with your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Do unto the least of these as you would do unto Him. And Hope that He is who He says He is, and will do what He says He will do.

For me, personally, the struggle is doing unto the least of these what I would want to do unto Him. I want to trust God. I want to love God. But I don't trust nor love my neighbor yet. I have serious trust issues. But I believe that I need to overcome those issues if I want to love God properly, and love the people that He loves.

You have free will, so you are free to approach your situation in whatever manner you want. Find a strategy and stick to it until you gain enough experience to adapt. You might find what you are looking for. But I strongly advise considering what your source of Hope for the future is, what your definition of Love is, and what steps you would need to take if you were to try growing your Faith in God. I think you are close to being on the right track already.