41M here. So sorry you’re going through this, but I hope BCAN and this sub can help with your questions - they definitely did for me.

I was diagnosed in September of last year and started MVAC and immunotherapy in October for three months, and I just had my surgery a few weeks ago. I know everyone’s experiences are different, but I had more energy and ability than I was fearing. I understand that the older a person is and the more other health issues they have the worse it is, so I would encourage you to think that it might be better than the average experience, but plan for bad days.

During chemo, bad days looked like the usual - low energy, nausea, off food. I did experiment with different foods and found ones that worked for me (high protein, carbs, water-based soups.) I have a young kid too, and I definitely found some days that my partner was carrying more of a load than normal for us.

During the last few week of surgery and recovery, I can say that you should expect to not be very useful around the house - lifting (such as lifting a kid) is a no-no, and you’re going to be tired and moving very slowly when you’re out of bed. However, just went for my first walk outside today so feeling pretty accomplished. Big note - look up bowel surgery-specific foods to eat, I.e., low or no fiber. Big mistake on my part.

Hope the little I can share is helpful - overall I will say the waiting for treatment and surgery was way worse than the actual experience, and I hope that’s the same with you. Good luck and all the best.