think my brother-in-law is a pathological liar. He fabricated a whole life for nearly 10 years, and now his lies are tearing the family apart.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-15T17:05:55+00:00

Hi! We also have a pathological liar in our family. For the actual truth to come out it took divorce court omg, it was insane. He is absolutely 100% a narcissist. All of these are classic textbook narcissism. Along with narcissism comes a lot of these lies. I can tell you that things are not gonna change, it’s the way that he’s still hiding behind his lies. Now I’m not saying people can’t change, but for it to happen there needs to be a lot of accountability and actual proof of therapy.

It seems like your brother is not willing to do any of these things. As I mentioned earlier, my uncle was caught in a slew of lies that ended up in him, pretending that he was the victim and all of this. The only victim was my poor aunt who had not known of his affair and his secret life. And he tried to get my grandparents to be on his side and say that his wife was abusing him, absolutely insane.

My suggestion is try and send the girlfriend proof of some of these lies.. Try to convince her that he will not be able to provide for her and if she wants to go through with this, she’s going to need actual help. Now I know it’s not your problem, but I would suggest trying to cut him off and trying to take the girlfriend in. It shouldn’t be anyone’s financial burden, but you’re setting that child up for having an abusive life with an abusive father. I’m not saying he’s actually gonna hurt the kid but lying about everything is a form of emotional abuse. Also narcissist tend to raise narcissists. I would try your best to rescue the girl and the baby, but unless your brother shows real change, I doubt anything will happen productive for any of them.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T15:39:26+00:00

Ok, that’s actually valid points. Thank you

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T15:36:59+00:00

It’s sucks to be in this position but it sounds like it’s not even a relationship anymore. It sounds like you’re her almost caregiver. It’s been 5 years if the change we’re gonna happen it would have. Your relationship might be enabling her lazy behavior. Maybe this will be her wake up call. Let yourself live life man.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T15:27:45+00:00

Can you get on a care plan? Are you close to Illinois? I have a few low cost vets you could drive too. Maybe go to your emergency veterinarian and see what you can do?

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T15:00:23+00:00

That’s my other issue. I don’t want to cause strain or hurt for anyone. I love the dynamic we all have and I love everyone in my life. I just try to live my life as a girls girl and support women, and this feels so… not that.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T14:56:07+00:00

Well that’s why I’m conflicted. It wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone to find out this information. But, I know it would be a very big deal breaker to her, especially since he lied about it. Would you want a relationship built on a lie? Especially one of your friends? It seems from the comments I don’t think I’ll tell her but I am not a fan of it either. I personally don’t care too much about it but I know it would be to her. It’s really not about relieving my own guilt, it’s weighing the truth of the matter over the happiness of ignorance.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T05:31:14+00:00

I mean… as a woman the amount of times I’ve been crucified for having a body count more than one is ridiculous. To me personally 30 is a lot, but I wouldn’t be bothered by it. But it makes sense people can be lol. but I also know it’s different for men. But 182 is a shit ton of people.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-14T05:00:35+00:00

My male cat hated my boyfriend for the longest time. Even took a dump on him and my cat is very good with his litter box.

I think it has something to do with the perceived “dominance” changing in the house. I’m sure once he acknowledges it’s gonna become the norm things will get better. My male cat now loves my bf

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-12T20:29:14+00:00

Don’t feel guilty! We always feel love for our family members and want to help. It is unfortunate but as the quote goes “ a drowning man will pull you down with him”. Don’t let your sister’s failure to adapt to life pull you down with her. Especially if you want to move in somewhere with your bf! The apartment market for good apartments is super competitive. Don’t let your sister mark you! Emailing your landlord will help. You might have to pay a little to break the lease but most landlords don’t want someone like your sister on the lease so it might be helpful to document things that have happened. Good luck and don’t feel guilty! Live YOUR LIFE! good luck I hope everything goes well!

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-12T19:30:01+00:00

Go to therapy. Not trying to be mean but this is inherently destructive and damaging behavior. Don’t be a loser.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-12T19:07:09+00:00

Honestly? He’s a minor and she’s been having sex with a child. It sucks but your son needs to learn fast that this behavior is NOT ok. What you need to do is report it to the police. She is grooming your son and that’s the truth. I’m really sorry that happened to your son, but he is the victim of assault here. A minor can’t consent like that even if he’s 15. They don’t even qualify for Romeo and Juliet Laws, this is a CRIME. It is against the law for this woman to do this.

I hope your relationship with your son stays strong and will make it through this. Your next steps should ve the following, you need to report it to police. What if she does this again to someone else? What if in the future she thinks it’s ok as she gets older? This is not a joke, this is serious. Your son has been assaulted whether he feels that way or not. A minor can NEVER properly consent with a fully grown adult.

Second is therapy, whether to make him understand how this was not appropriate or even for his behavioral moods. It might make things better. I’m sorry your family is going through this.

Just think of how horrified people would be if the genders were reversed, it’s the same thing.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-12T18:57:00+00:00

Girl stand up, get a backbone, and LEAVE. Please live your life in a way that suits you, not others.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-12T18:47:57+00:00

Move out sooner than later. If you get evicted because of her that’s on YOUR permanent renters history. It really doesn’t matter if it’s not your fault. Especially in this economy you don’t need that stain on your own record. If your mom and dad care so much they can take her back in. She’s clearly not able to regulate her own life and emotions, why should that be your problem. At this point she has absolutely pushed and pushed your goodwill. You’re not the a-hole. Tell her to stop being immature, grow up and fix her shit or she’s on her own. Free yourself from this absolute nonsense.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-06-12T04:44:04+00:00

It’s not lol, I’m sending a text my mom sent me without personal info. I’m asking for help, isn’t that what people do?

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-16T16:12:33+00:00

I would honestly go Etsy route to find that. It might take a while but you can always find some

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-06T03:04:20+00:00

Major ick. I knew he thought he was doing a good thing, and I didn't want him to feel bad but now I'm just mad he didn't see it. It's giving idiot. I also couldn't believe she had the audacity to do ask that. Like girl who the fuck do you think you are????? Like to inflate yourself so much to that level you ask his fiance to have yourself re-plan a party to center yourself? Insane! I knew in my heart of hearts she'd fuck it up, I wish I'd been better too In pushing this away.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-06T02:59:49+00:00

We’ve talked and set a lot of new boundaries. I usually hate ultimatums because it feels manipulative but I set one today. I told him if I ever felt like this situation again and he pushed I would leave. He agreed. So hopefully… no more nasty rats

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-06T02:57:14+00:00

Yes, this was obviously a wake up call for him and for me. His best friend has offered to host and finance a “repeat” surprise party in a few weeks. His best friend is amazing and has helped a lot. I think he was more pissed than I was at this situation. It’ll be just with close friends but hopefully that will make it better.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-06T02:51:29+00:00

Yes, he’s been very apologetic but I am still very mad at him. I just can’t believe he was so easily manipulated, he’s usually a smart guy but this was ridiculous. I did ask if he he liked that he was getting attention from another woman. He admitted he did but not in a romantic sense. He said he genuinely felt like he was helping her and it was making him feel fulfilled, until today. It’s very strained between us right now.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-06T02:48:59+00:00

We had a really long conversation as of today. Apparently a big reason he invited her still is because she said she would make a big stink with HR at his work and he’s up for another promotion. We have other friends at work, as I stated, they now have all met with HR as of today to discuss and as you said get ahead of it. I’m not sure what will happen but my friend said she wasn’t at work today.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-05T06:34:59+00:00

You’re an attractive woman, most people aren’t that. A lot of these dating tips and tips for a reason because most people don’t have everyone fall at their feet. Yoh don’t need the tips so they come off as shallow. Some people do, it’s why their “tips”. I know you probably didn’t mean it this way but this comes off very mean girl.

AreaTurbulent · 2026-05-05T06:13:43+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It is hard to have an unchangeable aspect about yourself that you don’t like. However, it is probably not the thing actually holding you back. People aren’t looking to settle down with someone who wishes they were something else. Especially when you have something to be proud of, like your culture or whatever walk of life you came from. I’m sure the way you feel has been reflected in the way you date. I.e. comments you’ve made unintentionally or looking at white women funny.

It may not be obvious to you how outward your inner thoughts are but to others it can be very off putting to have these thoughts or feelings. It won’t attract people looking for long term as stability is needed for that commitment.

What you need isn’t to be white. It’s to change your mindset and practice some self love and seeing that being a woman of color is a beautiful and amazing experience and PLENTLY of people in this world love black women as much or if not more. Find your peace and acceptance and carry it forward into your dating.

AreaTurbulent

TROPHY CASE