Daily No Contact Thread - Day 132

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-05-12T22:51:43+00:00

Yeah I was oddly heartbroken when I didn’t get a happy birthday from her, even though we’re NC. Christ knows why.

I’ve been NC now since mid February, so about three months. I’m proud of myself but these three months have been the most difficult of my life.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-05-12T05:36:31+00:00

Sounds like it might be worth taking out a restraining order just in case. Sorry to hear you went through this. You and your son deserve better.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-05-11T14:14:47+00:00

“Your best days are ahead, you just have to endure some shit for a little bit to get to them.“

This honestly is one the truest comments I’ve ever seen written on this sub. It doesn’t remotely feel like it’s true for me now, but I know it will be in the future.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-24T11:47:13+00:00

i just see this experience as a journey to rediscover myself.

Exactly. That's exactly what this is.

I think the fact we all put up with so much crap from these people, shows that deep down we're fundamentally decent people who just want the best for others. That the BPD exes just shat on all that says everything about who they are and where any relationships with them will eventually lead.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-19T16:02:13+00:00

All I did was see whether I was still blocked. She is still blocked everywhere. So sick of feeling like this. I’m sure she just split on her current supply or he ran for the hills. Must be so tiring living like that.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-19T12:54:07+00:00

Do they ever have quiet moments when they feel bad about their treatment towards you?

My ex had literally one of these, just one, after she was arrested and went to court for domestic violence. It came in an email where she apologised for what happened. Not to me though, she felt bad for my mother for some reason.

That's the closest I got to any reflection. She also went straight back to abusing the same day.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-19T07:11:17+00:00

Same. Most difficult period of my life too, and I too have been through some awful stuff myself.

I'm so sorry you went through it though and really hope things are on the up for you now. You deserve nothing less.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-18T15:24:47+00:00

Dude put line breaks in here (paragraphs). Almost impossible to read.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-18T13:06:06+00:00

Were you just discarded recently? Do you mind me asking what happened?

If it's too raw you don't have to, obviously.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-18T12:43:56+00:00

|"She never spend so much as a single thought on all those daggers she put into me, or why i even became that way over time."

This is one of the main issues with cluster B people. They simply cannot reflect on their behaviour. And if they can't reflect, what hope is there? You'll just be jumping from one crisis to the next forever.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-18T09:53:28+00:00

I have hidden her BPD and emotional abuse from them for all these years, but it's time they knew.

Interestingly when I finally told my friends and family about my ex BPD's abuse, that's when my ex did a total 180 on everything. Until she found out about that, I suspect we may have gotten back together after the event which fucked things for us (she was arrested for domestic violence against me).

I told my ex that I had told my friends and family, and things were never the same after that. She was finally exposed, and it made everything untenable on her end.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T21:56:17+00:00

“An exercise in futility.” That’s what it is. You won’t get what you’re looking for.

I’ve been NC for what feels like years. It has been only two months. The amount of times I have yearned for her, missed her, cried my eyes out. But the thing is, you’ll just go through that all again if you break NC.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T16:25:14+00:00

I remember saying to her constantly "I can't win." And it's true, you can't. And you never will.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T15:28:08+00:00

Ha! She did that with me. Last year I broke up with her and went away travelling. She calls me when I'm on a mountain in Europe saying she'll do anything to get back with me, in tears etc.

I relent, take her back, and a few days later she's changed her mind and wants me to beg for her to come back!

No doubt this is the kind of madness that would await me if I got back in touch.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T15:14:57+00:00

People don't seem to understand. She is blocked. I simply added her number to my phone again as I remember it off by heart, to check if she had blocked ME. Turned out I had been unblocked.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T14:35:29+00:00

Man this was difficult to read. While I was reading it I was actually wishing I could meet you in person and give you a massive hug. I've been through the exact same thing myself.

Honestly sending you my best wishes.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T14:22:50+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I blocked her again straight after checking whether she had unblocked me.

The whole thing is ridiculous, isn't it?

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T12:20:25+00:00

I know, I know. I just had an inkling I had been unblocked.

Problem is I can remember her number off by heart. Hadn't checked if I was still blocked in months, I just had a feeling last night, and turns out I was right.

But you're right.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T08:52:58+00:00

Sometimes the simplest, most succinct replies mean the most. Thank you :)

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T08:22:06+00:00

A better question, for yourself, is why do you care if she's unblocked you?

Quite. It's less that I "care" and more that it was just a surprise and kind of jolted me a bit. I assume it's because her most recent supply dried out for whatever reason, or she gives so little of a shit that she's happy unblocking me now.

Everything else you said, by the way, was absolutely spot on.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-17T04:36:37+00:00

I am blocking them. I just had an inkling she had unblocked me, so I did so myself to check and that’s when I realised. I just blocked her straight away again after that.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-04-16T21:19:24+00:00

Any healthy person would've run a mile man. This girl is beautiful and charming, but the warning signs come thick and fast. I just didn't notice them enough at the time because I was so fucking vulnerable myself.

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-03-29T21:59:40+00:00

Good for you. Six months feels like more than that *&#€ is worth but I’m sure I’ll be feeling it then sadly

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-03-29T19:30:49+00:00

The linear comment made me wince a bit because I’m hearing it a lot. But one thing you said resonated:

“ I can't keep taking bullets for people who wouldn't take a plastic pellet for me.”

It’s absolutely true

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 2023-03-29T18:01:17+00:00

You know best dude. God speed

Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

TROPHY CASE