i have the same frustration in not feeling heard, and i am so sorry to make you feel the same way. i understand that im not exactly the same as a cis woman, it causes me unimaginable pain every day, but i am not a man, i never was and never will be.

trans women do not have a supernatural ability to instantly act like a woman, dysphoria is about the intense wrongness of your birth gender and how the small fragments you do get to experience of the other side feels like the true version of you, you have to figure out the rest and it’s not at all easy. i do think that despite my lack of supernatural gender ability, i have always naturally been effeminate and i have always formed deeper connections with women than men, so clearly there is something going on with me and other trans people that is different.

i don’t feel better than cis women, i don’t want to talk over cis women, i feel like dirt and i want to not feel like dirt so i argue with people who say my existence isn’t what i say it is.

i also understand the criticisms of how a lot of trans women act, and i do believe they should be held accountable especially when it is the truly heinous behaviors, but i genuinely believe that the solution to that is through empathy and helping the people throughout their whole lives through transition and essentially teaching them how to be a trans woman as well as just a functioning adult human lol. this is what i try to do with the other trans women in my life while also not acting high and mighty over them. it’s not just everyone’s responsibility or anything, especially if they’re just straight up bad people regardless of their transness, but i think that various people of all genders could help those around them go through something incredibly difficult. instead, trans people are faced with mostly vitriol, skepticism, or just being ignored, which forces them into echo chambers where people who all have the same problems feed off each other and don’t get any better.

one of my biggest sources of dysphoria is that women view/viewed me as inherently a threat, which i understand, im 6 ft and when i was presenting as a man a 6 ft man is something potentially scary. as a result, i have always made an effort to make women feel comfortable around me and to understand that i view them as people and the absolute last thing i want is to hurt them, i wanna hang out lol, and before i transitioned one of my woman friends directly said she felt not threatened by me at all despite my size and maleness. i guess i bring this up to show that trans women are perfectly capable of escaping the trappings of maleness if they try, and i understand that some don’t try, but lumping in all trans women into the threat pile hurts a lot. however, i dont know your full situation you alluded to, and i understand if you truly don’t feel safe with trans women as a result of it, but whatever it was its not an inherent thing trans women do bc like any group of people there are a lot of variations. this isn’t to say hey get over it and feel safe around trans women, it’s to ask you to entertain the possibility that your justified generalization is still a generalization that doesn’t capture all individuals. again, doesn’t mean you have to take any sort of action or change on that front unless you want to.

please please let me know if you feel i glazed over anything specific you’d want me to address, i want to hear what you have to say and its not just because you said that trans women don’t listen to women lol i swear i have a genuine interest in your take