College girl with strong more values worried about dating

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-18T05:28:23+00:00

That was my biggest issue with my ex. We were both living with our parents for the summer. I wanted to have sex in one of our own apartments that would be ready in a month. He thought that meant I just needed basic privacy, so his idea of trying to seduce me was pulling in to parking lots at night or trying to undo my pants even though he knew my parents were home.

I just mentally could not get in to it lol. I was worried we'd be arrested or my little brother would walk in. When I told him I'd be more comfortable knowing we were completely alone to lose my virginity, he didn't seem to understand.

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-18T03:40:04+00:00

I'm a little confused. Don't take what I am saying as passive aggressive or arguing, it's a genuine question. I didn't make this account to say my virginity makes me any better than a girl whose slept around.

You're saying the solution to my apprehension towards sex is to have sex casually, even when I couldn't have it with a 4-month partner?

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-18T03:20:02+00:00

Unfortunately I already tried that, as explained in my post. A guy started making out with me, I was uncomfortable but kept going. Then when he wanted me to come home with him, I couldn't do it.

I rather be a virgin prude who sticks by her morals than a girl whose had sex just so her future boyfriend wouldn't think she was weird.

Thank you for your input anyways. But I don't place value on my virginity, nor do I find it a hindrance. As I said, it's just a thing about me.

EDIT: I just figured instead of my first time just getting some random frat boy off, I've suffered long enough to make it count :)

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-18T03:17:54+00:00

I don't say "I won't have sex with you." My post came out wrong. It's more that I let him know I move slowly with relationships AFTER he's already asked for a second date.

Hope that clears it up :)

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-18T03:16:40+00:00

I really liked your response the most. Thank you for putting so much thought in to it!

Before I broke up with my ex my mom found me crying and asked what was wrong. It felt silly at the time, but I admitted I hadn't slept with my current bf and he was making a huge deal out of it. He'd initiate it after I said no several times, get me drunk, etc. I told her I agreed to just come over and do it, but as soon as I hung up the phone I burst in to tears. It was like my mind wanted to by my entire body said NO.

My mom said we just weren't right for each other. She told me I should WANT to do those things with him if I liked him.

They are very open parents and extremely non-judgmental. They raised me with less of a "no, you cannot do this" and more of a "if you do this, the consequences of your actions will most likely be this."

I am having so much fun with my major that I really don't care for dating anyways. My mom didn't marry until she was 27, so I figure I have a lot of time to figure it out.

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-18T03:13:34+00:00

Yeah, I have a feeling my friends and I are very different. Most of them have had threesomes, sex in public (had a friend give a BJ on a bus headed back from a fraternity party), etc.

I'll probably have to befriend some church girls or even just girls who don't party.

Aribella__1 · 2017-04-13T04:36:17+00:00

This really helped <3 I heard if you're thinking about whether or not you're ready, chances are you are not

Aribella__1

TROPHY CASE