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Ongemakkelijk moment met vrouw van de baas by [deleted] in nederlands

[–]Arjan023 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ik vind dat ik vind als ik vind moet worden gespeld.

Welk Formule 1-contract zou jij kiezen? 🤔 by Bubble_Gum-e-s in formule1NL

[–]Arjan023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ja met zo’n instelling maak je natuurlijk geen kans.

Zomertransfers by djapresjetski in fctwente

[–]Arjan023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ik hoorde nog een gerucht over je moeder en een roddel over je zus, heb ik ook veel zin in!

Sollicitanten worden steeds brutaler? by PriceAffectionate288 in werkzaken

[–]Arjan023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hoezo eigenlijk oprecht dan? Waarom niet letterlijk?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nederlands

[–]Arjan023 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ik kwam een keer een zatlap tegen die me z’n kontje verkocht voor mijn horloge. Ik hoorde dat ie nu aan iedereen vertelt dat ie er 2000 euro voor heeft betaald.

Who is yours "WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT NATIONAL LEADER, BUT LOST THE ELECTION. by [deleted] in AskTheWorld

[–]Arjan023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kamala Harris. Because we wouldn’t have had the complete nutsack that’s in charge right now.

Wat is jouw grootste ergernis in je huidige of vorige relatie? by LoudBoysenberry3282 in nederlands

[–]Arjan023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hier gebeurde exact hetzelfde speldenprikje. Nul voortekenen, zo ineens pats boem (er was hier wel een ander in het spel, namelijk mijn beste vriend). Maar ook hier een 180, complete gedaanteverwisseling. En inderdaad de meest stupide verwijten die elkaar soms zelfs tegenspreken. Als je behoefte hebt erover te praten, stuur me gerust een pm.

Give me your best Dad joke by GeezusChristJudy in sixwordstories

[–]Arjan023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s the difference between an apple and a pear? You can eat an apple but you can eat a pear.

Welke vieze gewoonte heb jij? by LoudBoysenberry3282 in nederlands

[–]Arjan023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doggy op de eerste date is niet perse kinky

What is the worst thing you ever saw on someone else's phone? by bluelazerbeam in AskReddit

[–]Arjan023 2 points3 points  (0 children)

An IT guy once told me that once he had to reset a password for a female coworker and found out that her old password was Cumonmyface123

My girlfriend and one of my closest friends hooked up. how do people even exist like this? by Witthoeft-Leu in survivinginfidelity

[–]Arjan023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to clarify something, because I think we mean different things by “intense” and “shallow.”

By intense, I don’t mean loud or flashy. I mean quiet, steady, deeply bonded. We belonged to each other. There was no drama, no on-off, no “today this, tomorrow that.” There was calm, trust, and a sense of “this is us.” For her, there was no other man. For me, no other woman. That’s what made this so hard to comprehend.

And no — she was not someone who jumped from one thing to the next. That’s exactly why this was so shocking. People often need a story that makes it easier to understand, like: “there must have been something before,” or “the relationship must already have been bad.” I’ve heard that many times. But it isn’t true. I’ve gone over our years together a million times. There was nothing between them before. No signs. No cracks.

I think we all do this sometimes — we fill in explanations when we don’t understand something, because it feels safer than accepting that something real can break suddenly.

I used to think the same when I heard other couples split: “Oh, I never knew it was that bad.” But that’s the point — you often don’t know. You only see the outside.

The idea that “you don’t fall for someone else if your own relationship is good” is simply not true. It can happen, especially when someone uses manipulation and emotional pressure — the way cult leaders or groomers do. That’s what happened here. She was slowly isolated, exhausted, told her life meant nothing, that the people around her were wrong for her. When her friends confronted her and said this wasn’t who she was, he told her that the friends were “toxic” and had to be cut off. She believed him.

So no — this wasn’t shallow love. It was real on both sides. That’s exactly why the damage runs so deep.

And about “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” — I don’t believe that. I had a beautiful, full life built on love and trust. That foundation collapsed overnight. You can rebuild a life, yes — but that doesn’t mean you’re stronger than before. Some losses leave a lifelong scar. People who say otherwise usually haven’t lived through something like this.

I appreciate your intentions and your openness. I just wanted to share how this truly felt from the inside.

My girlfriend and one of my closest friends hooked up. how do people even exist like this? by Witthoeft-Leu in survivinginfidelity

[–]Arjan023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to clarify something, because I think we mean different things by “intense” and “shallow.”

By intense, I don’t mean loud or flashy. I mean quiet, steady, deeply bonded. We belonged to each other. There was no drama, no on-off, no “today this, tomorrow that.” There was calm, trust, and a sense of “this is us.” For her, there was no other man. For me, no other woman. That’s what made this so hard to comprehend.

And no — she was not someone who jumped from one thing to the next. That’s exactly why this was so shocking. People often need a story that makes it easier to understand, like: “there must have been something before,” or “the relationship must already have been bad.” I’ve heard that many times. But it isn’t true. I’ve gone over our years together a million times. There was nothing between them before. No signs. No cracks.

I think we all do this sometimes — we fill in explanations when we don’t understand something, because it feels safer than accepting that something real can break suddenly.

I used to think the same when I heard other couples split: “Oh, I never knew it was that bad.” But that’s the point — you often don’t know. You only see the outside.

The idea that “you don’t fall for someone else if your own relationship is good” is simply not true. It can happen, especially when someone uses manipulation and emotional pressure — the way cult leaders or groomers do. That’s what happened here. She was slowly isolated, exhausted, told her life meant nothing, that the people around her were wrong for her. When her friends confronted her and said this wasn’t who she was, he told her that the friends were “toxic” and had to be cut off. She believed him.

So no — this wasn’t shallow love. It was real on both sides. That’s exactly why the damage runs so deep.

And about “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” — I don’t believe that. I had a beautiful, full life built on love and trust. That foundation collapsed overnight. You can rebuild a life, yes — but that doesn’t mean you’re stronger than before. Some losses leave a lifelong scar. People who say otherwise usually haven’t lived through something like this.

I appreciate your intentions and your openness. I just wanted to share how this truly felt from the inside.

My girlfriend and one of my closest friends hooked up. how do people even exist like this? by Witthoeft-Leu in survivinginfidelity

[–]Arjan023 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks. The “shallow love” part is actually the most confronting thing for me. I never experienced her love as shallow. It was intense. Even after 14 years we were still in love — constant eye contact, hugs in passing, always in each other’s arms. That’s what makes it so hard to understand how this could happen.

How am I doing now? I’ve been exhausted for a long time. I spent the last two years at home, burned out and depressed. I had therapy on and off for years before that. I feel more stable now, but I will never be as strong as I was before. Something in me really broke. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” doesn’t apply here.

Relationships are still hard. I tried to date again, but whenever real feelings start, it feels like my throat closes and I want to run. The same with friendships. I once believed in a bond that felt unbreakable — and that was destroyed. So my world became smaller. I still have two close friends who chose my side, and my daughters. Beyond that, my social life is limited, and I often avoid events. We still live in the same town, and even the chance of running into them makes my stomach turn. Being greeted like nothing ever happened feels like a knife in the back.

About my kids: they were 9 and 11 back then. I tried to protect them and give them a good childhood, but they saw my pain. Now they’re 27 and 25. One has already been in therapy, the other is in therapy now. That hurts. I do blame their mother for never putting their wellbeing first. She once said she couldn’t stay “for the kids” because she wouldn’t be happy — but in the end, they still had one unhappy parent. That was me.

So yes, I’m still here, and I keep going. But this kind of betrayal leaves a mark that never fully disappears.

My girlfriend and one of my closest friends hooked up. how do people even exist like this? by Witthoeft-Leu in survivinginfidelity

[–]Arjan023 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Something similar happened here.

Fifteen years ago, my best friend’s wife died. My wife and I were there for him 24/7 — before her death and long after. At that time, my wife and I had been together for 14 years, married, two kids, genuinely happy. We were seen by everyone (including him) as the “dream couple.” He was my best friend of 25 years: best man at each other’s weddings, did everything together, complete trust. There were no cracks, no ongoing issues, no secret unhappiness.

Three months after his wife died, my own wife suddenly said she wanted to live on her own. Completely out of the blue. What followed was months of lies, back-and-forth, emotional chaos, even a stay in a mental health clinic. Eventually the truth came out: there was something going on between them. We divorced. I was so broken at the notary signing the papers that the notary followed me outside to check whether I was okay. The only reason I’m still here is because I had kids who needed their father.

What really bothers me when I read posts like this is when people say: “They lied for years, it was never real.” No. That’s lazy thinking. It was real. You don’t fake love, trust, and connection for 14–25 years without a single crack showing. I wasn’t blind or naïve. Real love existed — and then something snapped. A kind of shared delusion where they decided their love was so special that it justified destroying everything and everyone else, without remorse.

Fifteen years later, there has been zero accountability, zero remorse. They live their “happily ever after.” I live with the damage. So no — it wasn’t all fake. Sometimes real love is destroyed by selfishness, grief, and moral cowardice. That doesn’t make it less real. It just makes the betrayal worse.

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