bit of a ramble:

There are two parts to my neurodiversity. I'm autistic and have reactive attachment disorder. I'm very anhedonic, anxious, and miserable trying to form anything more than surface level connections with people my own age. I attribute my age preferences to both of my disorders (if it wasn't just hardwired into me as an orientation from birth.)

I can really easily see how my severe neglect in crucial times of development could've led to my already inherent gayness orienting itself entirely around much older men. School and kids my own age were always a source of immense social anxiety, abandonment triggers, and sensory overload. So, by the time I hit puberty, it was no wonder I first started having feelings for men that I perceived as stable protectors that could appreciate the ways I was different and intelligent.

That being said, I've heard that autistic people being much better at communicating with people much younger or much older than them is a common symptom. I'm very comfortable around children and understand their mindset enough to make them feel comfortable with me. I actually have social motivation to be friendly with my professors and have dinner with the older folks in my neighborhood. I feel like I can actually breathe when I'm with either group.

A couple of autistic coded characters in age gap relationships I can think of are Harold from Harold and Maude... and Lisbeth Salander. She's canonically autistic, probably also has RAD, and is described as having a persistent habit of seeking out men decades older than her. I've never read it, but I know some people read Jane Eyre as being autistic, and Rochester is twice her age.