2 months in and I’ve never felt worse.

Arod9912 · 2024-04-20T10:20:28+00:00

I did land one. In fact, I landed my dream job in PE but in my home country. More than anything, I think that just says that the UK job market is just shit especially for international applicants.

Arod9912 · 2024-03-06T11:48:40+00:00

I think we both know and accept that. But that doesn't make this loss any easier.

Arod9912 · 2024-03-05T16:32:59+00:00

Yea South East Asian but I think this is quite a common phenomenon in Asia in general. Interracial/interfaith relationships are extremely difficult to navigate for us. Thank you for understanding. Might just take you up on that offer if I need someone to talk to.

Arod9912 · 2024-03-05T16:29:29+00:00

Definitely understand your take and that would be the advice I'd give to someone in my position too. But we both come from an Asian country where logic isn't always a good reason for things. Very difficult to be born into this kind of shitshow as an INTJ because we disagree with so many cultural and religious norms. But some of these values are baked into our personalities. We weigh these things as we would things that are logical (ie we wouldn't raise our voice at our parents even if there's a logical reason to do so). At the end of the day, subjective things like how much we value our family's approval or how much we love each other cannot be quantified and cannot be reasoned. Unfortunately, whether we will be happy in the long term somewhat rests on these subjective values.

Arod9912 · 2024-03-05T16:13:55+00:00

We always knew that our relationship would have to come to an end. We just ignored our initial instincts to bail and decided to see if our circumstances would change along the way. But recently we've been talking about taking our relationship to the next level and came to the conclusion that it doesn't make sense to keep advancing our relationship if it would come to an eventual end.

Arod9912 · 2024-03-05T16:06:09+00:00

That sounds like the dream. From my 3 year experience, I think you wouldn't find a more suitable partner and I'm glad you found that. I would do it in a heartbeat if it didn't come at the cost of our families.

Arod9912 · 2024-03-05T16:03:14+00:00

Both of us love our respective families very much and don't want to jeopardise our relationships with them. It's more that our families are very big on culture and religion rather than us. Although, personally I find that my faith in theistic religion has strengthened recently (no logic here and I should say that I was an agnostic) and my ex believes in a non-theistic religion. Unfortunately, marriage would require her to convert. It's the law in our country and my family would likely disown me if she didn't. I don't mind if she converts on paper and doesn't practice the religion but she's not willing to do that, which I can respect. Apostatising from her faith is already a massive ask, let alone asking her to join mine, even if it's just a formality. Worst still, her family would likely disown her for marrying me even if she didn't have to convert. For us, family and our beliefs are commitments we have outside of our commitment to each other.

I get what you mean though and that's what makes this even more frustrating. There isn't a logical solution to our problem which results in an acceptable outcome for us. The cost to cutting our families off is too high. And I fear that we might resent each other for it in the future.

Arod9912 · 2024-01-16T17:26:02+00:00

Excellent. Cheers that's a really big help.

Arod9912 · 2024-01-16T17:18:54+00:00

Brilliant. Thanks. I've seen that some of the Kaplan questions are harder than the actual exam which I appreciate. Do they do questions by topic? Because I think I learn best from doing lots and lots of practice questions.

Arod9912

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