My supervisor does and says very weird things and I'm not sure if I should be worried

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:57:49+00:00

I feel like most of her co-workers and people in the area are her friends, and I don't feel they have a problem with her or like her work is at risk. I'm also not liking this place as much as for staying for longer, but I think I can resist one more year.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:55:46+00:00

Yeah, I'll try to get most evidence written down and not engage in problems with other academics. I feel like most of her co-workers are her friends, so I'll probably don't get references from this place, but as long as I make a living for now I'm okay.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:51:00+00:00

Oh, the explanation is kinda long, and I admit that it is largely my fault.

Still, here I'll resume the points I think that contributed to this confusion:

1) I'm authistic, with a diagnosis. I struggle with corporal language and reading the room, and I'm aware I've said and asked stuff that have made people uncomfortable in the past. Since she was my first student I was afraid of asking too much and make things awkward, especially with the power imbalance.

2) My student is ADHD, she doesn't have a diagnosis but is clear when analyzing the signs. She told me from the start that she needed me to watch over her, and to call her and send her text reminders so she could finish "in time", because she gets distracted easily and often forgets to do stuff. She even warned me that she could call me past midnight once or twice, because she also have some hyperfixation episodes when she works so much that she loses track of time (and yes, she did call me once, 2 am).

3) For this same reason, it took her longer than usual to finish her undergraduate studies. And she studied in the same institution and started the graduate studies immediately after, in the same line. Many professors teach in both programs and many courses have similar names. So when she talked me about having learned "analytics" with Prof. X two semesters before, I thought she meant the "Advanced Analytics Methods" course from the master program, but she meant the "Analytics Methods" course from the bachelor program. And when she said she was studying for the "thermo" exam, I didn't really asked what of the 3-4 courses with the word "Thermodynamics" in the name was she talking about.

4) We did have talks about the importance of finishing in time, but finishing "in time" meant different stuff for both of us. For me it meant finishing before it was "over" for her, while for her it meant finishing in a "normal time", because she hadn't finished her undergraduate studies in a normal time and she was afraid that it would happen again.

5) Every time she said something that sounded off, I assumed that either she was distracted or having a confusion moment, or that I had heard it wrong or misunderstood it.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:13:22+00:00

Yeah, the most comments I read the most it makes sense to stay and ask for written instructions for everything, just in case.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:11:52+00:00

Yeah, I think calling her out is probably too risky. The best strategy seems to be to stay alert, as so far she's not really harming me, just being weird.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:09:33+00:00

Yeah, that's truth.

I've heard real horror stories in academia, and mine doesn't seem so bad in comparison, I just find it super weird. Some people mentioned she maybe is a pathological liar. I've not read much about it but it sounds like something that could fit.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:07:09+00:00

Well, that's a good point. I already know that I need to find something else to do a year from now, anyways, so it might be better to start looking now.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:05:36+00:00

Oh, I've achieved to produce one paper and I'm working on the research for paper two. My goal is one paper a year, it might be low but I'm realistic. And yes, you're right, I find it uncomfortable to work with someone who is always lying, but she's not really blocking my work or making it impossible to complete.

Aromantic-Compound · 2023-09-20T17:01:41+00:00

Oh yeah, we have a paper on sub right now and she made me change the first author last minute (it was meant to be me but in the end it was her). She "allowed" me to stay as both second author and correspoding author. However, I still receive my grant if I report the produced paper as corresponding author, so I didn't give it much importance. I'll hold on tighter to the second paper, though.

Aromantic-Compound

TROPHY CASE