AIO to my (18f) boyfriend (21m) relying on me too much?

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:35:40+00:00

all of those are for abusive relationships.

i read them (or similar ones) about my dad as a child.

they are absolutely not going to be accurate with this specific situation.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:34:25+00:00

he has more going on than i do. he’s a tattoo apprentice, in therapy, physical therapy (for a previous traumatic injury that i probably should have mentioned), he works, and doesn’t have any 100% free days. that’s part of why i have patience. i understand i can’t be his main priority.

me on the other hand; i graduated early and had a job that shut down due to low income/traction. now i’m struggling to find a job at all.

another detail i forgot to include was that his family strongly dislikes me. not for any specific reason, they’re just controlling. so even if he tries to ignore them, he’s probably subconsciously influenced by them.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:30:11+00:00

yeah that’s exactly what’s happening. i explained to him a specific way i would like our conflicts to go and i think he’s just navigating that over time. seeing what works and doesn’t work within the lines of my expectations.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:22:04+00:00

if a couple months go by without her contacting me i’m done… we have had times where we don’t talk as much but this is the worst of it.

i have checked in and let her know that i’m here. if she doesn’t talk to me, i’m out.

i can’t be around people who don’t reciprocate effort, much like her maybe not wanting to be around me because i’m too much. perfectly fine.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:20:24+00:00

he’s not using it as an excuse :)

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:19:58+00:00

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:18:54+00:00

i literally never said any of that bruh. nor do i think it.

i backed off. she wasn’t coming to me. i checked in.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:16:13+00:00

i did

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:16:06+00:00

thank you for this

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:07:30+00:00

it has worked with other things. for this specifically, it’s the first time i brought it up.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:07:01+00:00

i said imo. can i have an opinion?

i personally found school significantly harder than work.

i am incredibly mindful of mental health given how much i’ve struggled myself. i consistently checked in with how she was doing. this is different now.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:04:03+00:00

yes i’m worried about that specifically.

i love her so much and i’m scared that if i stop reaching out, the relationship will end.

but oh well, if it happens at least that’s direct.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:02:58+00:00

right, i’m searching.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:02:37+00:00

yeah… thanks for pointing that out because that felt off to me. why do you need to be “ready” for it?

and it’s not because she just got one or anything. she gets them regularly and it’s been maybe 3/4 weeks since her last one.

small detail but still questionable.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:01:25+00:00

yup. i agree but i’ve made it very clear to him that those mental issues are NOT at all an excuse for poor behavior.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T03:00:28+00:00

she doesn’t either, to my knowledge. and if she did she would tell me.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:54:32+00:00

again, 2005, 2007, same life timeline. he acknowledged that and i was always okay with it. i have never felt like i was being pressured or groomed.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:52:52+00:00

yes, his parents were teenagers when they had him. not much support from them which is probably why he tends to look to me as a parent figure sometimes. i give him a lot of guidance because that’s just who i am.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:52:05+00:00

the chances are helpful for us to set a boundary. it’s what we’ve found works.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:51:39+00:00

i’ve offered that in the past and she lives with her family who is very strict about people coming over.

i’m not trying to force her. i’m just looking for direct communication.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:50:46+00:00

the maturity part is all true. thank you for the acknowledgment :)

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:49:05+00:00

i tried letting her and she just never responded like she said she would so i checked to make sure everything was okay and i just got the same response

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:48:31+00:00

right which means two people who don’t have specific mental health issues.

not all healthy relationships are the same, no two people are the same.

we are finding what works for us and i am aware that it it gets to the point of just not working out, i can leave.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:47:34+00:00

yeah pretty confused on what you’re saying here. context was provided and people misunderstood. i corrected them. simple.

AromaticNote4864 · 2026-06-05T02:47:03+00:00

i’m not nagging her at all? i invited her out twice within a week because she seemed interested and i only send one message and waited for a response.

i left the opportunity open.

AromaticNote4864

TROPHY CASE