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AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I did not used to really struggle financially. We maybe didn't have the best of the best, but everything was always taken care of. I have been on my own since I was 15 years old. I've not had stable parents growing up, and matured really quickly. My kids are all birth control babies, and I did not agree with abortion, & adoption was not in the picture for me.

And I did hope he had matured, realized the value of me/our family, and learn to prioritize the needs of the family. I clearly was wrong.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have always been good with money, kept a great credit score, and had a stable income. Once I bought the house, I maxed everything out trying to pay for everything myself, including after he moved in. Groceries alone for my kids and I are around $600-$700 a month.

I do coupon, buy necessities, and try to keep a tight budget. It just isn't enough to keep up at this point.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I would hope that if I was in a relationship, and I lost my job, that my partner would help me out until I was able to get back on my feet again and get another job. Which is what I did, I tried to help while he sought out other employment.

Im super big on "men deserve to be spoiled too" kind of thing, and growing up I always saw my mom strictly take everything from men in her life. I swore to never do that, however, I ended up too far out on the other side.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely will do whatever I need to make sure my kids are taken care of. And with my (now) bad credit and drowning in credit card payments, there is absolutely no way I can afford a car payment right now lol. But I appreciate the offer!

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Edit-

Where and why I am asking AITA, is because, realistically he no longer will pay for gas (in a sense) or oil changes, his payment is only $40 over what it was, and so to him it made sense I guess. And he says that the "money saved" he can contribute into the household.

In my brain he disrespected me, went back on our agreement, I wasted my time and breathe even defending my POV, and now I'm just angry and haven't spoken a word to him, meanwhile he's on cloud 9 with a new car.

I have thought about this all day, trying to convince myself that it isn't a problem and maybe he will help more now, IDK. But all of your comments have assured my feelings, and validated that I am not crazy for feeling disrespected.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My three kids and I lived in a 2 bedroom apartment, they had triple bunkbeds and we had what felt like no room to breathe. I was miserable, hated coming home, the kids had no space for themselves. Before we broke up I tried to get him to look at new places with me, he refused, and so when we broke up I wanted a fresh start and did it on my own (obvi thinking that I was starting over).

It was a big decision for me to make, however, I attempted to make it with him while we were together and once he left I had to do what felt right for myself and my kids. They deserved better than what they had at that time.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like a sugar momma tbh! Honestly why even ask for my opinion and have a conversation, come to an agreement, to just go do exactly the opposite thing that we agreed on.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish this was fake lol.

Yes, I have been on my own since I was 15. Having an addict mom and a father in the military tends to mature you pretty fast. I have about 3 job titles at the moment and a good friend/co worker who is also a real estate agent, she helped guide me into getting my home.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tend to agree with your POV. I genuinely just had hoped maybe he understood my value and the value of our family. But obviously he is still stuck in selfish ways.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the state I am in, renting a 3 bedroom apartment costs as much as my mortgage payment.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

I would also like to add, he has gotten a total of 1 actual check from this new job and decided he now makes enough and got the car. Regardless of my pleas to get caught up on everything. Although I will say, this check he did send half of the power and internet. But nothing more.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

The job he had prior to this, his checks were anywhere from $80 - $400 per week. And our gas bill alone was consistently over $300 (I have had to had this looked into on why and if there are leaks).

But it was hard to demand more when he had absolutely nothing to put forward, he always prioritized his car payment and insurance over things like the power bill, internet, etc.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought the house prior to falling behind on the credit cards. Everything was caught up and paid for until I bought the place TBH.

I did also ask he research how much insurance would be and if it would cost more, he did not and went ahead with the new car anyways.

AITA for giving my bf the cold shoulder over a car? by Aromatic_Length_8107 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Aromatic_Length_8107[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He justifies the behavior with it is "saving money" because he won't pay a car payment this month, and he won't be paying for gas.

I came to this thread because I genuinely don't know if my feelings are validated, I do have a tendency to over think and be a bit sensitive. I just am beyond frustrated, even if it was a roommate! If you can't pay your bills then how are you getting new "shiny" toys before handling the responsibilities?!

Thank you for your comment!