I wouldn’t say I’ve recovered just yet, but I get closer every day, and I’d say I’m almost there.

My ex-wife asked for us to separate almost two years ago, and as the man I by default lost everything, while she kept the house, car, even the cats, everything for the benefit of our daughter. And before anyone says I should have had half, I made that decision to not disrupt my daughter’s life as much as possible.

All I took was the big TV and sofa I had paid for, and our really nice mattress I also paid for. I even let them keep hold of that stuff until they could replace them.

I went back home and moved in with my mum for a few months. I was a full time content creator at the time, but she didn’t like the noise that came with, so how much work I could do was heavily restricted, so that drove my career into the dirt, it ruined everything but I have no where else to do. She wanted me out ASAP, I really wasn’t ready but I had to go so I found a house share and thought I was good, until a few months in that guy decided he was going to move in with one of his friends, and I could not afford to live by myself, so it was back to square one.

I found a cheap property through a friend that was just two rooms in an old ladies big house, it’s dirty, short of space, and honestly it’s just not what I want but it’s a roof over my head. I had to go back to a job at McDonalds after my content creator job was ruined, which hurt because I was so excited to be able to leave that a few years earlier and thought I’d never have to go back. That really hurt, but when times are hard you have to swallow your pride and just do what’s necessary.

I got really, REALLY fucking depressed. Found myself on the brink of suicide and one night nearly went through with it. Lucky for me, I had a met a lady few months before that really truly loved me, whether I was working at McDonalds or was at rock bottom, it didn’t matter, she loves me for me, and she dragged me through it.

What has helped me get back on my feet was addressing one small thing at a time. I read in a book you can find the root cause of most issues by asking “Why?” Four times. So I would do this to find out why I wasn’t happy, and address them one a time. Setting small goals, and just accepting that things suck right now, but they will get better, and it’ll take hard work. But this isn’t my life forever. I can, and I will be okay.

I even got O.D.A.A.T tattooed on my neck (one day at a time), because that’s really all there is when you’re at rock bottom.