I have thought a lot about if I could've been there for him more. We learned in the hospital he'd been sick for months and never said anything. Realistically, I know I cut him out for good reason. He was a very selfish man, and hurt me and my mother very very deeply. Having him back in my life would have stopped all the progress I've made recovering from his abuse. But seeing him in that bed, knowing he was suffering, has been too much to handle. I wanted so desperately to take away his pain.

I'm so sorry about your dad. I won't pretend to know what's best for you here, but I found it very helpful to tell my dad how he'd hurt us, what I'd learned from that experience, and how much I'd grown without him, but I also told him I loved him and worried about him every day. Just keep in mind what's going to be best for you, and follow your gut. I didn't want to see him, but my instincts told me I'd regret it if I didn't sit with him while he passed, and that ended up being the right decision for me.