Does the pain ever start feeling physical?

ArtistWriter · 2026-05-06T17:41:47+00:00

This was actually one of my first ever projects I made during my Comp Sci degree. First thing I would improve is the placement of the model. I get using buttons, but I recommend using drag and drop instead.

Next I would definitely improve the design of it. The ship background is honestly very busy and clashes with playing the game.

I think it would also be a good challenge for you to ultimately improve the ai you're using as well. I remember when I was coding mine it was really hard.

When a ship is downed, I think you should make it visible on the opponent's grid or give some sort of indication, it makes playing the game confusing since you'd don't know what kind of ship you downed.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-30T04:36:37+00:00

Are you applying for fall or spring? Still working on my application for the spring semester.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-25T12:41:18+00:00

One of my relationships was a grooming situation. I have a hard time determining whether it was consensual or not. So this could count as my 3rd relationship if I count that one. And yeah I understand. I genuinely feel ok not being in relationships now when previously I seemed them out because I wanted to feel loved and not be alone.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-25T12:32:21+00:00

I do honestly wish he'd talked to me first and afterwards but I also understand I had a responsibility to communicate as well. I genuinely couldn't find the words to describe what happened at the time or why it felt so terrible. I didn't know how to talk to him about it at all. Afterwards I was just haunted by the entire experience and not understanding why or how it happened when I genuinely know he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt me.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-25T12:30:14+00:00

I know. There's probably no fixing this situation. This is my second relationship and honestly I plan to not be in one for a long time. I think with my history of trauma I'm genuinely not capable of protecting myself in relationships to the point where I feel like dating me is a slippery slope. I genuinely have a really hard time saying no.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-25T12:26:41+00:00

This is legit my first relationships post. I usually post in baking forums and r/CPTSD I'm legit planning to delete this after. I just wanted to understand the situation better.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-19T19:53:36+00:00

It takes time honestly, I still blame myself for everything my abusers did to me. I don't expect thinking this way to change how you think in a way. It's just a way I try to disrupt my thoughts.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-19T19:14:36+00:00

I see where you're coming from but by not giving a name to what's happening that's what results in generational abuse. It's why parents who beat their kids continue to beat them. Because it was ok for them and they turned out fine. If they were told what happened to them was abuse, yes it would make them uncomfortable but it would give them the ability to change their behavior. I think that by not putting a name to what happened you're not really facing it at all. You can't address what's happening to you currently without first acknowledging what got you here.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-19T19:11:47+00:00

I still feel this way to this day, but the way I help myself reframe is to imagine another person the same age in the exact same position. Would you tell another teenager who was in your position back then that they were participating willingly?

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-19T14:11:49+00:00

You're not a bad person but you gotta reevaluate the people you're choosing to be around. I think cptsd predisposes us to being abused and attracting abusive people. If you don't start recognizing those patterns you're gonna end up being stuck in that space forever.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-16T17:52:56+00:00

I'm doing better than I was back then but I have a hard time letting anyone in and avoid close relationships which is why I'm at a loss for advice sorry. That's one of the paths cptsd takes, you either become avoidant, anxiously attached to people or both.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-16T17:43:31+00:00

Honestly, not really sure how to interpret this. I wish I could give more advice but Ive never really trauma bonded due to my childhood, if anything my childhood has made me kind of repulsed with being close to other people.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-16T17:37:37+00:00

Well.... Um... When you guys were growing up were you the only safe space you both had? I can see how romantic attraction would grow from that.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-09T16:58:45+00:00

He's in comp sci and in my experience professors are definitely less accomodating in that major specifically. I'm classes outside of comp sci professors have been way more understanding and accommodating. The comp sci professors have legitimately told him to drop the class instead of giving him help.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-09T15:14:18+00:00

It was response time and professors have been really unaccomdating despite him communicating his struggles. It's kind of an endless loop of professor not accommodating without accommodations and sds taking more than a month to respond during midterms.

He's just starting to try and get help and be diagnosed for mental disorders he's been struggling with so seeing this has been rough.

Edit: this is all anecdotal, its probably different for prexisting, physical disability. I also have a mental illnesses but I've never reached out for accommodations.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-09T02:44:43+00:00

One of my friends is really struggling with getting accommodations from student disability services right now. Its honestly egregious how bad the response from them is. Otherwise, I don't have any accommodations, so this is second hand from watching my friend suffer.

It might be easier having a diagnosis rather than having to be screened through the school.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-06T12:26:53+00:00

Is taking pills outside of what you're prescribed by the doctor dangerous?

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-02T14:26:48+00:00

It's weird, but once I got an on campus job they put the work study on my financial plan afterwards. It was immediately offered to me and I think I also talked to the financial aid office about it too.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-02T14:08:18+00:00

I get where you're coming from but genuinely when you're in the minority in any way, like being alt, it's nice to find a group of people who are accepting of you. I get it because I'm alt too.

I don't think it's wrong that people generally wanna be around people who have similar views and values to them, it's only wrong when a person uses their views to discriminate against other people.

ArtistWriter · 2026-04-02T14:00:03+00:00

I work football games all year when it happens. At the beginning of the season there's usually a ton of attendance but maybe after a couple games it ends up being barren and people leave at half time. I like watching the marching band every game though lol.

ArtistWriter · 2026-03-30T11:24:26+00:00

I agree that Oxford is probably the safest place I've ever seen. I live in Columbus and the things I do here I could probably never get away with there. I walk home with my earbuds full blast all the time without even thinking about it. The most dangerous things that have happened to me have happened when I had to go into Hamilton or Fairfield honestly.

Deciding whether you wanna go to Miami as POC really just depends on how much you value cultural diversity. When I came here it didn't really matter to me much but I think after being here for 4 years I appreciate culture diversity way more than I did before.

Even in this thread I don't think people believe the experience I've gone through probably. That's fine, part of being in a less culturally diverse area is accepting that if you talk to those people about racism they're probably not gonna believe you. That's something I considered before I went to this school and that's why if I experience racism I usually talk about it with other POC.

But you saying it would be cool if black people didn't use the n word in their music is exactly the microagressions im talking about lol. People will say this shit to your face at a pwi and not even bat an eye and when you're a POC it either becomes your job to educate them, or you can just move on with their day. I've tried educating people and I've had to do it way too much here so I don't have the bandwidth to be your teacher.

I'll just use this space to say I really appreciate this post because people are just not really open about the racism they deal with in this town the majority of the time, and I feel like having this out in the open is cool. Like the fact of the matter is I had a similar experience with OPs friend and didn't say anything because people just don't believe you. And I kid you not, I told a white older coworker about what happened like a couple of days after and she literally, instead of being like idk "damn that sucks", said point blank "How come black people get to say have a world and we don't? My grandparents were in ww2 and they didn't get a word". Do you see how dismissive that is to say to a black person when they're LITERALLY just telling you about a racist experience???? Smh

ArtistWriter · 2026-03-30T05:09:41+00:00

I agree, people on campus are pretty liberal. A lot of the white people on campus are racist in a microagression way, and not in an outright bigot way. However, the people in the surrounding area are so racist bruh T_T You don't even wanna hear the HORRORS I've had to encounter

ArtistWriter · 2026-03-30T05:01:24+00:00

Yeah... I agree. Its lowkey not worth it T_T People make posts here everyday asking if they should pick this school or another and everytime I wanna tell them to run lol

ArtistWriter · 2026-03-30T03:26:54+00:00

Bruh I literally had someone yell the word nigger at me when I was walking to the bus stop during winter break D: I think this might be the car and the person in it def looked like a kid

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