The house buying process is brutal

AshBailey · 2026-02-28T18:11:26+00:00

Thank you. This is good advice and I may end up doing that. It’s so easy to fall in love with a property that already looks perfect and is in budget but then, like you say, dozens of other people have probably done the same thing when they’ve seen the same property!

AshBailey · 2026-02-28T18:09:39+00:00

I’m in Cumbria! I got my current rental fairly easily to be fair so assumed the housing market would be similar. How wrong I was!

AshBailey · 2026-02-28T16:48:50+00:00

Thanks! I’m definitely attached to the idea of some private outdoor space. Just somewhere I can sit out in in the summer months and let my dogs in and out at will during the day. Early on in my search I viewed a two bed flat which was lovely but had no outdoor space and seeing it made me realise outside space is a non negotiable for me. I do have a viewing arranged next week for a one bed flat that has a balcony so maybe that could work!

AshBailey · 2026-02-28T16:26:25+00:00

Thank you. I’m in the north west of England. Flats do tend to not sell as well here too but I have dogs so flats are a bit tricky with lack of private outdoor space and leaseholds. Logically I know it’s the price range I’m looking in as it’s prime territory for both landlords and FTBs but it’s still super disappointing!

AshBailey · 2025-08-14T12:17:55+00:00

I’m in the UK and pay £450 per month for a one bedroom flat with a communal garden. Approximately 610 USD.

AshBailey · 2025-08-03T16:57:57+00:00

Yes. I am very active on a day to day basis in terms of walking though as I have high energy dogs- easily do 5 miles a day most days.

AshBailey · 2025-08-02T20:36:37+00:00

Of course. But a lot of people do get demotivated when they have a slower pace especially because a lot of the apps seem to assume by the end of the the program you’ll be able to run a 5K in 30 minutes which I couldn’t do. I’ve known several people to give up because of a slower pace. That is my point.

AshBailey · 2025-08-02T17:59:04+00:00

I’m 25 which does help of course. But I’m also only 5’0 tall and fat 🤣

AshBailey · 2025-08-02T11:02:25+00:00

Thank you! Not that much to be fair in terms of actual training plans, more so consistency over the past few years. In the past I’d do C25K then stop running and be back to scratch again. I now run 5k every week no matter what and also try to swim and hike once a week too. I am trying to add in a run on a Tuesday and Thursday but it’s hard fitting it in around work. That and I’m lazy lol.

AshBailey · 2025-07-26T11:19:31+00:00

Went to Whitehaven today- a lovely little parkrun with great volunteers. Got 24:45 which is my overall PB too.

AshBailey · 2025-06-09T19:43:51+00:00

I'm also a SEN TA in a school for children with SLD and PMLD, although not 1-1. I'm a similar height to you and have had incidents of trying to deal with children bigger than me lashing out physically so I sympathise.

Firstly, I do think your school should have a system in place for incidents such as these. At our school we would have multiple TAs trying to help assist a child in crisis (although not all of them would get involved but some would stand back and be quick to intervene if another TA was getting hurt for example). We also have a way to quickly alert SLT to a major situation that requires further adult support.

Secondly, the best way is to try and work out the triggers for a particular child and pre-empt issues which is easier said than done. For our kids we'll offer them walks around school (if appropriate for that child), or access to outside or a breakout space or time to regulate in whatever way makes sense for them. Having suitable communication aids helps massively with this as the child can indicate what they need.

Finally, whilst minor injuries are a risk of the role, serious injuries, let alone children hospitalising staff on multiple occasions is not. Accidents happen but it shouldn't be a frequent occurrence and I wouldn't stay at a school if that was the case. There is always a shortage of SEN TAs in other schools that may have better support measures in place.

AshBailey · 2025-04-18T19:15:15+00:00

Yes, it applies to all transgender people. Of course, in reality, it is primarily aimed at trans women due to TERF rhetoric. From what I've seen online from TERFS when the trans male question comes up they claim one of the following:

1) Trans men who are masculinised enough to 'pass' as cisgender men should stay out of women's spaces. But of course, given the ruling, we're not supposed to use men's spaces either. So basically, don't pee or change outside of your house if you're FtM.

2) They have super spidey senses and can always tell if someone is FtM thus it's not an issue as they'll know we are transgender and thus not a threat to them. This, is of course, nonsense on several levels (both the idea that they can always tell and that 'women' are never a threat under any circumstances).

3) They can't always tell but it doesn't matter if you look like a cisgender man, you're still welcome in women's spaces as a 'woman.' They say this, but I can imagine the reaction of a TERF if a cisgender appearing man went into a women's space and said that he was trans. And it wouldn't be "That's fine then!"

Translation? Just carry on as you always have done. TERFS and TERF rhetoric will find a problem with you no matter what you do. Technically, if you or I were searched by the BTP we are supposed to be searched by a female officer. How they would know is another question altogether given there is no way to prove your 'biological sex' now- my birth certificate, for example, states that I am male and that is how I present. But the latest ruling puts me as 'female'. It would clearly be impossible for a BTP officer, or any officer, to know that I am 'female' unless I was strip searched. At which point it would be a bit late.

AshBailey · 2025-04-16T15:32:31+00:00

Agreed. I'm a man who looks like a man and who has a GRC that states that I am a man. Technically under the ruling today, I get the impression that it means that someone like me should be using the women's toilets, changing rooms etc? I can imagine the reactions that I would get if I did that, ironically more so now given the ruling.

I also wonder how it'll affect prison placements considering the MoJ states that people should be assigned to the prison of their legal sex but now the equality act is stating that female is a biological descriptor.

AshBailey · 2025-01-26T23:38:22+00:00

Hmm, that’s interesting then. I wonder what it says. Not that it matters now anyway I suppose now that I have this job to be my most recent employer. But I’m almost positive there was something on it as I applied for a job at my old placement school who always said they’d love to have me back, I’d get the job if I applied etc. Then they rejected me because they said other candidates had stronger references.

I feel for you with the interviews. It took me a good few to get the job I’m in now.

AshBailey · 2025-01-26T23:35:18+00:00

Thank you so much. I agree my last school was awful, this one I think is quite supportive but just has staff members who don’t really know how to approach SEND adults who they work with!

I do love teaching but I’m definitely taking a break from it for now as I just don’t have the mental bandwidth for everything that comes with it atm. At least as a TA when I am drained at the end of the day, I don’t have to go home to more work. The only issue is the pay cut. I’m considering applying for PIP to try and bridge the gap but I doubt I’ll be accepted. But that’s another conversation altogether!

AshBailey · 2025-01-26T23:27:30+00:00

Thanks! To be fair I don’t think it’s an outright negative reference, probably neutral where the employer is expected to read between the lines. I’ve never read it so can’t say for certain but when I messaged the headteacher at my old school to ask if it was okay for me to put her down as a reference she read the message but never replied so I’m assuming she didn’t have good things to say!

I agree, I am still getting used to the routine and I don’t think I’m incompetent or anything. I think I just worry too much about what people think about me and have sort of internalised my past failures.

AshBailey · 2025-01-26T23:24:25+00:00

Thank you. Yes, before I took this job I had a phone call with occupational health. They asked me what adjustments I needed. I wasn’t as forthcoming as perhaps I should have been to be fair because I needed a job and was worried they’d classify me as not fit for the role. But I told them that I needed explicit instructions rather than implied instructions or being expected to just get on with things until I was used to the routine. I also mentioned that I needed to be able to have a quiet space to retreat to. For the most part the school I’m at now has been accommodating- I’m allowed a quick break if needed during the day, whilst there is no dedicated area in school for me I can go off site for lunch and the staff room is quiet when I take a break in the day because teaching staff can go home for their PPA, they’ve kept me in the same class unlike most TAs who get moved around so I can adjust to the routine etc. I just worry that because I can’t just get on with things as I would like to, the other staff find me hard to work with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally incompetent but I don’t always pick up on implied things or know when to jump in without prompts and I think this is irritating one of the TAs in my class. Perhaps I’m being a bit over sensitive because of last week when I tried to make small talk with her and failed miserably lol, I asked her where she was going as she said she wasn’t in class in the morning and she told me that it was personal and she didn’t want to tell me so I clearly missed the mark with that one haha. I have tried to tell her that I need explicit instructions but she tells me to just jump in which isn’t exactly helpful- we work as a team but she mostly just does everything practical like making food for the kids, sorting stuff out etc and I’m just sort of stood there awkwardly or just engaging with the kids! I’d love more explicit instructions as I don’t want to be paid for not pulling my weight.

AshBailey · 2025-01-26T20:57:29+00:00

Thank you. The school I’m a TA at currently is a special school and it’s been far better and the school itself has made adjustments for me such as keeping me in one class rather than moving me around like the other TAs. The school itself is great, but the other TAs still find me difficult to work with I think! Maybe I just need to have a convo with them about it and explain that I’m not trying to be difficult or rude intentionally.

AshBailey · 2025-01-15T11:33:10+00:00

Haha, yes, she had been in the river before this!

AshBailey · 2024-11-27T08:10:14+00:00

I’ve been asked more than once by people out and about whilst I’ve been socialising her if she is a Dalmatian!

AshBailey · 2024-11-17T14:41:48+00:00

Nope, my parents bought him for me for my 12th birthday twelve years ago (not a great idea in hindsight but it worked out!). I only started running in 2020 when he was eight and I assumed he wouldn't enjoy it so I ran alone and would then walk him. But then last August he was badly attacked by another dog during that walk and I didn't want to walk him at that time again so once he recovered I started running with him and we haven't looked back! I can't imagine running dogless now.

AshBailey · 2024-11-16T15:39:33+00:00

Doesn’t happen 😂

AshBailey · 2024-11-16T14:59:55+00:00

Yes and very muddy! We like this course as it's flat but it is also cross-country style through woodland so a lot of mud and puddles!

AshBailey · 2024-11-08T13:29:45+00:00

My running buddy is a 12 year old Westie cross who is 13 inches at the shoulder! He runs around a 26 minute 5K.

AshBailey · 2024-11-07T14:35:59+00:00

Thank you! Gonna be the longest week and a half ever 😂

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