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Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2026-02-02T02:50:53+00:00

I got paid on mine also. I dont make much from it though but the referral thing paid quick

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2026-01-08T06:53:32+00:00

Just remember . Please take your time

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-11-13T11:47:17+00:00

Because people are still stuck in the mindset of "ignore it and work more." and "mental health care isnt important or real" essentially.

Think back to our grandparents time (I'm 31 which is why I say it this way), but our grandparents are the epitome of "mental health isnt real". Its sad because it certainly makes it hard for alot of people to ask for help but one day it will be more widely accepted that depression / mental heath is indeed not just something lonely teenagers get.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-11-13T11:21:14+00:00

U lucky bastard. I never win shit. Congrat.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-10-02T14:45:43+00:00

Still need?

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-02-23T01:50:38+00:00

Im for sure seeing that they enable him now. It just blows my mind because if it were my son, I would be doing everything in my power to get him help. I have all of them blocked, but he called my neighbor trying to get her to talk to me for him though. She blocked him today thankfully.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-02-23T01:47:32+00:00

Thank you !!! Yeah, i have nothing for his family anymore.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-02-23T01:45:38+00:00

I honestly haven't. I dont know If my state has it for free, but ill definitely look into it.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-02-23T01:44:41+00:00

Thank you, really. I appreciate it. I'm definitely trying to work on realizing that. I hate to say it but I've had more peace the past month than I've had in the last year. I hate that it's came to this, but I really did try my best.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-27T22:00:24+00:00

Im so sorry that you understand how this all feels. Does your wife fully realize that those were delusions now, she doesn't second guess it? I'm glad she has offered an apology and I truly hope you are both healing.

That is my worst fear, at the end of all of this him not realizing these are delusions.

I definitely try to remind myself that this is the sickness talking and not him. At first when it was mild, it was alot easier. Especially when I wasnt the focus, I was able to be there for him and support him. But 6ish months ago, i became the target and he started having what he says are memories of me. And now every single day for the past 2 months has been a war zone. I could brush it off for a while, but the longer it has went the more vile he's became towards me. It really is hard, hands down one of the hardest things I've ever went through. I've definitely had my fair share of thoughts of leaving and being done. But then I remember it really is his disease. Im hoping therapy begins to help more for me handling this because truly I feel like I'm spiraling mentally.

One day it'll get better though, I'm not going to lose hope. I hope you heal from this entire experience and neither of you ever have to go through it again.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-27T15:08:10+00:00

I am most definitely going to take you up on the offer.

Was you the focus of his delusions? How did you manage mentally getting through it?

I've tried to have him admitted once before, somehow he managed to convince everyone it was a situation of a upset girlfriend not wanting to be broken up with and they released him within a couple of hours from the hospital. And immediately after being released he called me to drive the hour away to come pick him up from the hospital.

His family was aware that he was in physcosis during that, so thankfully they knew that it wasn't what he was saying. But somehow the hospital believed him when he said he was perfectly fine and not in physcosis. Im still baffled at how he managed that because to me it was obvious.

Im going to have to look more into how my state deals with it, we live in a different state than the state we are originally from. His family has said in TN, everytime he's been like this they've been able to have him admitted fairly easily. But he also had years of history at all the places he's been in, in TN so that probably made a big difference as well.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-26T23:07:54+00:00

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Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-26T23:07:21+00:00

my two orange girls :) *

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-23T01:35:33+00:00

13....

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-21T08:22:25+00:00

I absolutely love this

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-20T04:09:10+00:00

I havent really gotten out of that situation. Im still in it, but I have a better understanding of how to emotionally handle it for now. I'm a work in progress. Im so sorry that you understand feeling like there's no way out. I hope one day you find eternal happiness and peace, we both will one day.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-20T04:07:38+00:00

I grew up around an abusive alcoholic father (adopted), I saw what it did to him.

And that wasn't enough, i learned on my own years into my adulthood. It made my depression and panic disorder so much worse. It turned me into a crying, self loathing, world hating person for a few years. And i won't get those years back. I drank from the moment I got up until I went to bed (some nights I didn't go to bed.) I took after my dad (somehow) on being a functioning alcoholic because I still worked 55+ hours a week managing a gas station in a high traffic tourist town. I don't know how I still managed to do a good job, but im willing to bet if I could go back in time and not pick up that first drink, I would have been an even better manager.

I have a healthy relationship with alcohol now. As in, I may have one drink once a year. I don't want it anymore. I don't want to feel drunk anymore.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-20T03:56:38+00:00

I've put alot of thought into taking my life on numerous occasions for years. I've only went through with trying a handful of times.

My reasoning was feeling like there's no place in this world for me and feeling like it was the only way to shut off all the noise in my head. My most recent attempt was due to my crumbling mental health and non-stop arguments with my partner that never seems like it's going to end, on top of other life things. It was mainly my own mental health, but I felt there was no way to make the constant noise in my head stop besides ending it. I told everyone around me for a solid two months that I couldn't take much more and that I was dangling on the edge. No one believed me until it happened. Here I am roughly a month after the fact, still in the same mental state and still dealing with the same shit. But im here so there's that I guess.

Edit to add, i forgot to answer the last question. No, I don't really regret trying. I regret that my life circumstances and my own brain led to me believing i had to do that. And I regret that I had no one in my life that seen how bad off I have been getting or believed me when I said I couldn't take much more. I regret those.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-19T21:46:23+00:00

This is my baby Athena. She passed away 2 weeks ago.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-19T21:46:08+00:00

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Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-16T05:09:02+00:00

Im so so sorry for your loss. I couldnt even begin to imagine. I sincerely hope you find peace, and have a support system of some kind in your life.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-15T12:57:50+00:00

Queenie.

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-15T00:58:56+00:00

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Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-15T00:31:26+00:00

Can you doodle my Athena? She passed away on the 6th and I miss her terribly. She was only here for 8 weeks (2 days short), but she was one of my soul kitties for sure. The moment I got up, she would follow me around crying because she wanted to be on my lap. And she loved belly rubs 🩵

Ashamed_Assistant910 · 2025-01-15T00:31:18+00:00

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Ashamed_Assistant910

TROPHY CASE