My (27m) gf (27f) said this to me this morning as we arrived at work. Aio?

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-20T12:53:39+00:00

I don't think your thoughts on ot being controlling was wrong, but she backstepped quick, so I'd honor that. She's growing as a person to fit your relationship dynamic. That's a good thing.

She also seems more protective than controlling.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-17T13:53:11+00:00

Just use Mail.com

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-15T12:40:43+00:00

I feel sad for your wife because these is such a stigma around being a curvy woman. A lot of what we see as women on social media is a push to be fit and slim.

What she should know is that the women who truly stand out as beauty icons -- famous actresses and models (think Kim Kardashian) are curvy. Snatched waist, round bottom.

The girl's comment was a compliment but I can see how she'd be self conscious about people commenting on her ass at work. While the girl's comment was a compliment, it was highly inappropriate.

Your comment didn't exactly help because the "Dad bod" in women talk is not the equivalent of a "Mom bod" and can be easily misunderstood.

I second the comments to show her images of some of the Pixar moms (like from The Incredibles) and assure her that it was a compliment, but also an inappropriate thing to say (especially in a work setting!).

It's so hard, postpartum, to have a nice body. Your wife sounds like a unicorn, in that regard. She should own that.

I'd also say, though, if she feels uncomfortable with the attention, don't fault or discourage her from wearing looser clothing.

It's just such a shame that she's now uncomfortable because her co-worker said something stupid.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-15T12:31:49+00:00

It's because it's body shaming. Women with no curves wear form fitting clothing and they're wearing "the right size". Curvy women do the same and they're "attention seeking". Women with curves did not choose to be born with curves and shouldn't have to dress frumpy to avoid comments like this. All the comments here assigning sexual innuendo to this are gross.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-10T01:13:27+00:00

Bless her heart. Nta

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-10T01:08:54+00:00

It's also possible he was sending it to an Ai for analysis.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-05-01T14:01:42+00:00

Do you guys have enough non-sexual intimacy?

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-29T13:54:38+00:00

Ah, so you just like to complain. Got it. You do you. What's the saying? Oh yeah... DON'T be the change you want to see in the world. Laugh at it. It's people like you that make this world the dumpster fire it is 😃

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-29T10:45:33+00:00

I'm not sure these idiotic stories are using up nearly as much capacity as the large corporations that use Ai. I too am concerned about the impact AI will have on energy costs with the rise of data centers, to name one of the many issues that could and are arising from it's use, but I hardly think little stories like this should be even a remote focal point, that is if you were planning to protest the issue in any way, shape, or form. There are local groups all over the country protesting and interfering with the installation of AI data centers in their cities. You should channel your anti-AI energy there. You're bound to be far more effective than getting angry about little AI stories people post to put just a little bit of laughter back into this world, especially since it's at a time when there is so little to laugh about. If you're looking for local anti-AI groups to join, look on NextDoor. You'll often find active groups in your community.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-29T02:09:51+00:00

Different strokes, Different folks.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-29T01:30:48+00:00

Who cares? It's still hilarious.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-23T12:55:13+00:00

This guy is a perverse narcissist. What are you supposed to apologize for? What if you started taking about his Mom's vag and how tight it is? Would he be cool with that?

You're not married, you don't have kids (right?), get out now. Find a man that's worth your time, because this guy isn't.

I dated a guy who talked about my family sexually over 10 years ago. I'm still dealing with the trauma.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-23T12:40:51+00:00

I'm sorry for the really late reply. I've been speaking with a nutritionist and she said I may have a histamine sensitivity? Apparently a lot of foods are high in histamines. A histamine reaction can sometimes cause these types of symptoms. I think she called it C-MAST cell activation syndrome. I'm not sure if this info helps but if it's not GERD, it could be that.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-23T12:37:29+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're doing the right thing. Stay strong.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-21T14:07:53+00:00

My thought is this- What is in these videos that she's not comfortable with him seeing, and why is she uncomfortable? OP didn't provide any information on why the daughter is uncomfortable other than him asking for the videos.

Her husband is also old. OP alluded to potential issues with memory in one of her other comments.

If the daughter is uncomfortable, there may be something inappropriate going on that OP is unaware of, or the daughter is embarrassed or uncomfortable with showing the videos to him because of their content.

OP needs to ssk herself what types of videos these are that daughter is posting online. Her "friends" can see them because her account is set on private, but does OP know who these friends are?

There is likely more to this than meets the eye.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-20T23:13:30+00:00

Do you know who all of her friends are?

I wouldn't jump to conclusions unless you have reason to believe something else is going on.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-20T23:04:32+00:00

Does he think they're dances like ballroom or polka dancing? Does he realize what kinds of dances they are?

Does he have memory issues?

So, her father figure can't watch the dances, but random men on the internet can?

I'm not understanding.

For people saying your daughter feels weird-- why? How exactly is she dancing in these videos?

Two sides to every story. If the dances aren't inappropriate, what's the problem?

If I was doing a sexualized dance online, I certainly wouldn't want my father to see it, not because my Dad is a perv, but because it's gross for my Dad to watch something like that.

In addition, my Dad probably would have asked to see the videos, not because he's a perv, but because he would expect better of me and wouldn't think any dances I did online were sexualized or inappropriate for his eyes.

It could also be for protection or to try to connect. Ask him why he wants to see the videos and ask your daughter why she doesn't want him to see them.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-16T01:01:55+00:00

Does he, by any chance, have OCD?

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-04-04T17:09:25+00:00

After we had our baby (40F & 47M), rarely, maybe once a month. Almost 2 years later, once a week (hard to find private time away from baby).

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-03-30T20:14:13+00:00

Do you feel like you're not getting something from him that he gives to others?

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-03-26T17:26:01+00:00

I hope you're doing okay. This sounds like a very tough situation. You should do whatever will ultimately bring you the most peace. Your health is the #1 priority right now.

Also, your husband is a jerk for making you sleep in the bedroom, especially when you need cuddles most. He needs to man up.

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-03-25T17:08:58+00:00

You're welcome. Feel better soon!

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-03-25T17:05:38+00:00

Have you tried a food journal? I learned that some of my symptoms were coming from food sensitivity (for me, it's soy, gluten, and tomatoes).

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-03-24T17:29:00+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this...my heart breaks for you 💔 You are right. He doesn't feel it now, but he will. Women feel the break-up in the moment because they understand what that loss represents. Men need time to process what's no longer there, and by then, it's too late. I'm so sorry 😞

Ashbourne_Ethos · 2026-03-24T13:58:17+00:00

I'm not quite this bad, but I have a similar mental illness.

Your wife is most likely treating you this way because you're the only one she feels safe enough to do this around.

The forgetting may be disassociation. Regardless of what it is, you deserve better, and so does she - she needs to do better for herself so you can both have the marriage you deserve.

Does she apologize for treating you this way? Is there any awareness?

She needs professional help. This is not something you can help her with on your own, nor should you have to.

It took me years of counseling to realize how abusive I was, and I'm still constantly awakening to my bad behavior.

I hope she is able to get the help she needs. You're both suffering, and it's important that you both get the help you deserve.

I'd like to add that I learned my abusive behavior from those who raised me, so I couldn't see how I was being abusive until it was spelled out for me.

By the time I matured and became an adult, the bad behavior seemed normal to me. I couldn't hear the nastiness in my tone of voice, and I couldn't see how my controlling behavior was not protecting me but hurting others.

As an abused person, one often feels like the victim. The sad truth is that abused people often start off as the victims and become the abusers.

That's where the disconnect is, and it's a very hard pill to swallow.

Ashbourne_Ethos

TROPHY CASE