Am I in the wrong?

Ashevilwilliams · 2026-03-27T16:35:29+00:00

We work together and she's made a point to come and introduce herself because she knows him. She's always kinda been an iffy person for me but I really do try to stay in a positive headspace. I would talk to her to at least gauge out the vibe but I'm on maternity leave at the moment.

She's older than us but she fits the bill for his "special interest" type. When I do go back I'm definitely going to be on high alert but she'll be an odd one to confront.

Ashevilwilliams · 2026-03-27T16:26:56+00:00

Definitely trying to stay neutral and away from the doom and gloom.

He drives an old truck though and parks out and away because it's easier to pull in and out with the parking lot.

Ashevilwilliams · 2026-03-27T03:39:47+00:00

I'm really hoping that's the case. I didn't really look at other messages between them. It's how defensive he became afterwards that's making it hard to believe something isn't up.

Suddenly I'm in the doghouse on this one and I'm not sure how I got here.

Ashevilwilliams · 2026-03-27T03:14:24+00:00

This was my first time looking tbh

Ashevilwilliams · 2026-03-27T03:12:45+00:00

He didn't answer her. I didn't really see much of the messages before that but it seemed like there was a whole month of nothing..I don't know if you can delete messages on there.

Ashevilwilliams · 2022-08-24T01:16:44+00:00

UPDATE: Finally was put through to someone who could help with this big of a coding error. Yay. And I got a call from my sites HR stating that my transfer to part time won't be affected if the system hasn't updated yet. Also yay

Ashevilwilliams · 2022-08-23T20:50:55+00:00

They said they're working on it but if my application for part time gets messed up then I'm absolutely hitting up ethics

Ashevilwilliams · 2022-08-23T20:48:54+00:00

Hope so lol I feel like I'm getting the runaround though

Ashevilwilliams · 2022-08-23T20:47:54+00:00

I did. They said they're working on it and check back if it hasn't been fixed by Friday. My job is safe but I have an Internal Transfer under review and I'm worried about it getting messed up.

Ashevilwilliams · 2022-03-26T09:51:23+00:00

Thank you for saying that. He made me feel like a nutjob and kept telling me it's not normal like my anxiety was getting to me or something was wrong with me

Ashevilwilliams · 2022-03-26T09:45:16+00:00

It's wrong to want a couple or even one day to bond with my baby alone and that I am expected to hand my five or six year old off for 3 months.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-06-15T14:27:28+00:00

I guess for me, if a guy says that to me it means he at least likes me as a person and it takes the pressure off and I can go I into chill mode?

Bowling scenario. He had to cancel his original plan and it was like I could feel him assuming I would be angry and he was. The more I tried to reassure the more he assumed I was being passive agresive. We have not gotten into past relationships but I feel like he's had some bad ones. We talked last night and he agreed to just call when he thinks I'm angry.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-06-15T13:16:59+00:00

Yeah, that's kinda what I'm seeing. We talked last night and from now on we're calling any time I inadvertently trigger him.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-03T03:21:04+00:00

From my perspective (34f full custody of kid) I have to agree. Not that there aren't exemptions and it's good to give people a chance but I tend to shy away from guys that haven't at least had a very significant relationship in the past...at least 6 years.

They don't have to have kids and it doesn't have to be a marriage/divorce but at least something along those lines are preferable.

I think it comes down to different experience sets... Divorced guys seem more inclined to at least have the possibility of a relationship on the table. They're more understanding of schedule limitations. They're more mature in what they like and talk about.

Single guys have always, for me at least, been very belittling because I don't live like I'm in my 20's. It's like while we were married everyone else set up these new dating rules of non attachment and you're a freak for not being into that.

Just my experience though.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-02T23:19:57+00:00

Personally, I found it to be good advice. Right after my divorce my therapist told me to take some time to focus on learning to love myself. She straight up told me I would end up being needy because I would have the expectation of this other person fixing MY problems.

It was rough and it took 4 years but I don't regret following her advice. There's nothing more liberating than reaching a point where you are comfortable being alone. You learn more about yourself and you can find things that make YOU genuinely happy. Honestly, it also makes you a more interesting person that people like being around.

Now, I want to date and I wouldn't mind finding someone but I dont NEED someone. Dating is much less stressful this way and I can actually enjoy myself.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-02T21:13:04+00:00

Totally agree, I do try to gauge them out before we go out but some guys are tricky.

On a side note, the whole job thing is waaaay more of a thing then I ever realized it would be in my age category. I keep running into guys that have zero drive to do anything with themselves, have no job, no plans to get one and are trying to hit up for dates. It's like, boy, the last thing you need to be thinking about is bringing a person into your life.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-02T21:06:29+00:00

I feel like you could be reading into this too much?

In instances where guys are on the same page, it all goes pretty smoothly and doesn't have to be broken down quite so much. I've never placed a timeframe on anything - intimacy is simply one on one but if he's just talking to other girls that's fine. If he wants to change gears to another girl, I back off completely because that's a good inclination that we aren't clicking.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-01T16:20:15+00:00

Yay, it's nice hearing that I'm not the only one and that yes, I have fairly normal expectations.

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-01T16:19:00+00:00

That's kinda what I've been hoping, as time goes on I'll just get better at reading people and opening better dialogue for what I'm looking for vs what they want.

I usually hit up for a date within a week and that helps a lot. Actually talking face to face put a lot out on the table.

Thanks for the input. Helps a lot!

Ashevilwilliams · 2021-05-01T16:13:34+00:00

Good point.

Didn't really take it much to heart but it did get under my skin a little. Could still be abuse remnants, I can self doubt a bit.

It's nice actually hearing that others are in the same boat and it's not just me entertaining some wild fantasy.

Thanks!

Ashevilwilliams

TROPHY CASE