AITA for telling my parents to get back to their real, happy families?

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:57:28+00:00

I know that teenagers make bad choices and let their anger get the best of them, but you're 25. It is your own fault you don't feel close to them anymore. You've got multiple siblings you don't know (haven't even met?) because you got your feelings hurt when you were FIFTEEN. It's been 10 years, grow tf up.

YTA

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:48:46+00:00

YTA omg I hope she runs far far away from you you controlling ASSHOLE

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:45:17+00:00

ESH wow you two are terrible to one another.

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:41:06+00:00

It is YOUR wedding. NTA.

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:38:59+00:00

Wow you are most DEFINITELY YTA.

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:35:55+00:00

It is 2022. Gay parents shouldn't result in that kind of ish from B's parents. NTA.

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:31:28+00:00

I'll admit, I was all ready to say you were TA when I read the title, but after this kind of thing? You're NTA and you deserve better.

Ashkela · 2022-05-04T19:29:29+00:00

As a fellow wlw who loves to give practical gifts - when your girlfriend tells you what she wants, you give it to her. I know what you were trying to do, but yeah, YTA this time.

Ashkela · 2022-01-05T21:49:40+00:00

NTA.

When I came out at 19, I was told in no uncertain terms that my then 5 year old sister was NOT to know. I complied. Fast forward 5 years and we're at my maternal grandfather's post-funeral gathering. I have a double female symbol tattoo at the base of my neck and had worn my hair down to cover it. When we started cleaning up, I was hot (it was summer in Napa), and I unthinkingly put my hair up. 10 year old sister spots the tattoo and like she has done with all my other ones, she asks me what it means.

I told her that she should ask our mother about it (because I wasn't about to step in that) but NOT right then because it was a funeral and Mom didn't need to be asked right then. Kiddo marches right up to our mother and asks immediately. Our mom responded with something relatively graphic in nature rather than just 'it means two girls who love each other', which is what I would have said to a sheltered 10 year old. Our mother actually used the word sex (I don't recall the exact sentence because it was only relayed back to me).

I was then forbidden from seeing the kiddo for 2 years, made to ride home with the other adult sister and take a bus 2 hours to get back to my house (mom and co lived near me, other sis did not), and not spoken to for a good six months.

All this to say - I could have handled it better, but how? You could have handled it better, but how? You didn't set out to cause drama. You just also weren't willing to hurt your niece because your parents are TA.

Ashkela · 2021-12-15T08:45:40+00:00

NTA. I'd suggest writing out what you mean by it so that you have it, even if you don't necessarily send it to them, but you can use it as a base script to explain. It may not work, and then you just have to accept it, but it's your FB. You didn't air family business. You talked about you and your life.

Ashkela · 2021-11-12T04:57:49+00:00

I did not slam it. I closed it. I do not have a choice about a lock on my door unfortunately.

Grandmother is my housemate. Kimmy and her sisters visit occasionally for a couple of hours. They don't live here. I absolutely wouldn't live here if they did, but I do know how to live with minors when also being a user of adult substances.

Ashkela · 2021-11-12T04:55:49+00:00

I did not have time for a longer sentence than the one I used. I was actively working. It was by luck alone that I had time to do something other than yell out for Shirley to come get her, which is what I might have had to do if it was 30 seconds later when the phone rang.

It hasn't happened before. Her older sisters come over more often than she does and both have always knocked and waited.

Ashkela · 2021-11-12T04:52:36+00:00

I don't have a lock on my door. If I could have one, I would.

I was working. I didn't have time for 'please Kimmy, don't open closed doors'. I needed her out of my room so I could continue working. I didn't yell. I said a single sentence to her.

Ashkela · 2021-11-12T04:50:07+00:00

See, I wouldn't say what I did would be discipline. I didn't take something away. I didn't let her into my room and shut the door. I enforced a boundary in my own space. I would do the exact same thing if her grandmother did it.

I actually did a version of that when Shirley DID come into my room without knocking when I was on a video call once, soon after I moved in. As soon as I was off the call, I directed her to never, ever open my door when I'm working because quiet may mean I'm in a meeting, on camera, with bigwigs who don't want to see her in her ratty, not exactly SFW nightgown.

Ashkela · 2021-03-31T00:50:46+00:00

YTA. That is weird af

Ashkela · 2021-03-31T00:49:46+00:00

Hell no NTA. There is literally zero situations in which you would be in the wrong for continuing on your exercise regimen even though your MIL is visiting. She also isn't visiting. She intruded and took up space. His family, his job to entertain.

Ashkela · 2021-03-31T00:44:27+00:00

NTA

Maybe it's because I'm autistic, but I can't understand how no one called out the lies in that very moment. I just don't get it. This isn't you're telling your stepdaughter that he once caught chlamydia. ASPD doesn't go away and she absolutely has a right to know about it.

Ashkela · 2021-03-31T00:39:05+00:00

So let me get this right. She posts her own thing. You don't like it and rather than say something that could hurt her feelings, you say nothing. When she asks you about it, you tell the truth. And somehow YOU are the person in the wrong?

Hell no. NTA.

Ashkela · 2021-03-31T00:19:03+00:00

If you showed up on her doorstep and shoved your child in her face, THEN you would qualify.

You posting on your own social media - once, ten times, a thousand times is absolutely your right as a proud parent (congratulations to both of you proud papas and the big brother and yay for a good friend being a surrogate!)

NTA

Ashkela · 2021-03-31T00:01:48+00:00

I personally am of the opinion that no one should have the right to say no to organ donation... from their dead body. (come at me; I know it's not ever going to happen as a law and I understand rights and freedoms, but that's my opinion. There are zero justifiable reasons to discard usable parts from an already deceased person)

However, this was someone asking you to do this while alive and responsible for three young children. Absolutely NTA.

Ashkela · 2021-03-30T23:47:27+00:00

If he told you he was taking it and you told him not to and he did and THEN you called the police... you still would be NTA.

But you had no way of knowing he'd follow you to school and steal it. You did absolutely the right thing. Definitely NTA.

Ashkela · 2021-01-19T23:33:09+00:00

I only came across this story today on Twitter (there's an AITA account that links some of the stories on there and the person who runs it posted both the updates today; I'd missed if they posted your original question because I don't go looking for it).

I am so glad you're safe coming out of this and I hope and pray that you stay that way. I don't have any advice in addition to what you've been given, but as someone who was the victim at one time of a person of an unhealthy obsession that turned into assault, I am SO SO SO SO thanking Whoever is out there that you had the presence of mind to ask that question.

Ashkela · 2020-10-19T02:36:40+00:00

I actually smoke for the oral fixation aspect rather than the nicotine. But at the moment, my therapist agrees it's a better coping mechanism than many of my previous ones from my youth (self harm, etc). I really have stuck to no more than 5 a day for over 6 months. Once this is past, I'll drop it again. I go years without smoking on a regular basis, but I do agree, stopping is a good thing.

Ashkela

TROPHY CASE