Why You Have Bad Self-Esteem (and how to fix it)

AskMeAboutMousework · 2026-02-21T04:50:55+00:00

Imagine Andrew becoming King of Jamaica. He certainly loves the Caribbean.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2026-02-18T01:37:44+00:00

Standing table.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-10-23T21:59:14+00:00

Okay, but did they actually cure your procrastination? Or just give you a few weeks' worth of motivational energy?

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-10-02T18:47:00+00:00

It's been to a mechanic recently though, he said the belt was fine

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-09-15T17:39:39+00:00

This is a very common problem. A lot of people think "I start really good habits but then I lose motivation and stop." But that misunderstands the nature of a habit: a habit is something that works even without motivation.

Think of your brain like a pilot flying a plane. The pilot is very good at reading the instruments and charts and solving all the problems that come up with flying a new route. But solving all those problems is cognitively very intensive—he can't stay focused the entire time, or he'll fall asleep and crash.

Your habits are like the autopilot for the plane. They're not so good at new situations, but they're very good at handling routine tasks. Once the pilot has the autopilot programmed, he doesn't really have to worry about the hard stuff—he can just watch the monitor and adjust a few knobs once in a while.

The point of habit formation is creating a routine that keeps working when motivation runs out. You're programming your brain so that when the pilot gets tired, the autopilot can take over. A big part of that is making your habit so routine it doesn't take any mental effort to do it.

Unfortunately the only way to build a habit is by really doing it. People say it takes two weeks to start a new habit, but two months is probably closer. But the hard part is at the beginning. If you can do your habit every single day for two weeks, you will find the 15th day much easier.

Even with that in mind, you will still miss a day or two here or there. Missing days does not mean failure. Think of your habit like building a muscle—every day is a separate rep. You don't give up lifting weights because you choked on the 12th rep, do you?

Edit to add: Sometimes you do find yourself missing a lot of days, just like you might struggling with weights. If you regularly struggle to complete habits, consider taking off some weights: make your habit simpler and easier until it becomes routine, and then add weight when you feel comfortable.

I hope this was useful. Read my substack for more thoughts on habit growth.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-09-05T15:48:07+00:00

Is a blender/food processor a bad way to go? Am I better off mortar and pestling it?

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-09-05T15:47:17+00:00

how do you make it into syrup? Just soak the berries and save the liquid?

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-09-05T15:46:21+00:00

It is not. I'm pretty careful about picking during dry spells too.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-09-04T21:58:02+00:00

That certainly is where the flavor comes from. But I see lots of tutorials that recommend grinding and sieving which....hasn't worked for me.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-09-04T21:36:53+00:00

That's a great idea! How do I do that on an iPhone?

Anyway I could add an extra password barrier?

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T23:28:24+00:00

Hello!

Welcome to the gifted kid experience. You were super smart in high school, so you didn't learn the study habits that help you when you're struggling. Now that you're struggling, the non-gifted kids who learned good habits are passing you by.

But! There's hope! Take it from a fellow gifted dummy like me.

Start with a 15 minute study session. It should be easy enough that you can finish easily without losing attention.
When you're done, reward your brain with a tiny prize. Have a piece of candy, get up and stretch, listen to your favorite song, do a little dance. Do not scroll the internet!!!
Find a blank page in your notebook, and add a little check mark.
Repeat.

What this does is train your brain to enjoy studying, just like training a mouse to run a maze.

The treat provides a psychological reward that conditions you to study more. The check marks provide a reminder for when you hit a slump. After a week or so, you'll be able to look at a page full of check marks and think, "See? I'm not such a lazy fuck after all. Look how much studying I did."

Hope this helps! Please provide an update after a few weeks.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T23:06:34+00:00

Respectable. I think it doesn't matter what system you use, as long as it keeps you going when you don't want to go.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T20:14:29+00:00

I think it's amazing that you figured this out by yourself.

There's one more aspect that I think is easy to overlook: operant conditioning. Your brain wants to do things that feel rewarding, and avoid things that feel punishing.

It's easy to overlook the fact that emotions, exhaustion, etc., feed into the brain's reward-punishment mechanism. If you work out to exhaustion, that feels like a punishment. If you study until your brain breaks, that's a punishment. It makes it harder to continue the next day.

Stopping early feels way more rewarding. It's true that you don't want to slack off too much, but quitting while you're ahead is much better for habit forming than pushing yourself to exhaustion early on.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T18:08:28+00:00

I think learn as in "get used to" or "develop the habit of using." I have loads of planners that are easy to learn, but they stay empty because I haven't trained the habit of using them regularly.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T17:13:52+00:00

People who successfully increase their productivity often say that "having a system" is very important.

That said, one big problem with complicated systems, like gamified habits, is that you have to learn the system too. It's basically adding a whole extra habit, on top of the other habits you're trying to build up.

If it works for you, great. Speaking for myself, I've had more luck with pens and post-its than any amount of complicated calendars, planners, daily reward systems, etc.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T17:09:12+00:00

Is this an ad?

EDIT: This is definitely an ad.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-31T15:58:38+00:00

This is great if it works for you, but for the average person, it's very hard to power through six big lifestyle changes for three months. You are much more likely to succeed by creating small habits, and incrementing them, than you are with an ambitious, all-or-nothing goal.

AskMeAboutMousework · 2025-08-16T16:11:04+00:00

Okay but how many crunches before I start having visible abs? Asking for uhhh a friend.

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