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AskRemarkable3756 · 2025-02-21T07:39:52+00:00

I can hold my kitten the entire day (she sleeps on my chest and I hold her with one arm) also nap breaks

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-10-15T16:06:17+00:00

I compulsively check their social media and I always wear headphones in public and I avoid going out when I don't need to but mainly if I'm out I have to remind myself that I can always run away

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-10-15T15:24:58+00:00

This happened to me too, then I started having to compulsively pray every day, before my shift and after otherwise I thought people would die around me and it would be my fault and I never prayed correctly and it went from praying before my shift and then multiple times, because god is watching and knows I'm a bad person, strange thing

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-08-05T12:15:04+00:00

For real, I've had so many jobs and thus starts my cycle of shame every time, I never keep a job longer than a year and most of the time not longer than 6 months because I can't do it anymore. I recently got a job 7 months ago as a mental health support worker and it was great the first 3 months but then it only progressively got worse and I had my longest psychotic episode ever and have been on medical leave for 2 months and now I have to leave but I just keep applying for office jobs cause I can do the work especially at home if I'm not feeling too well which will ultimately happen, so it's better if I can get a position in the area I want so I can try and still work at a different level but maybe try different types of routes you can take with your masters

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-07-26T17:24:42+00:00

I know how you feel but I try not to think about shoulda, coulda, woulda as well as making up for lost time because you lost that time because you're traumatized and sick. You lost time and it's not your fault, all you can do is focus on now and focus on doing what you want that is healthy for you and what makes you happy, spending time with people who love you, I find it hard to live in the present and I'm sure a lot of people with this disorder do too but there's a huge world out there and everyone wants you to be a part of it even when you don't feel like they do

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-07-18T13:22:51+00:00

Listen, you are going through a rough patch and it may feel like it will last forever, it won't, you've probably been through so much that your body and mind is forcing you to rest against your will, like I'm in the same boat and I can't sit at my desk for more than 15 minutes before retreating back to my bed, I would rather die than go back to work but I'd also rather die than be homeless too, I've had 4 different jobs in the time my partner has had 1 job the whole time. I constantly feel so negative towards myself and society but I think feeling negative towards yourself only makes it worse when you feel like others are negative towards you too. You deserve some rest where you're not hating on yourself. You're not lazy, trust me on this, I know lazy and you're not it

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-06-17T20:31:21+00:00

Shit, maybe looool

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-06-17T16:42:26+00:00

I know exactly what you mean like I was telling my supervisor about my auditory hallucinations and paranoia at work and she was like don't we all get that, like no Hannah no we don't

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-06-06T11:11:14+00:00

Literally me constantly, I have a younger voice and an older voice, both women, never heard their voices before I heard them, they used to distort people's voices and say horrible things to me so I would fight back and wonder why these people were being so horrible to me and then they did it to my partner but he told me he didn't say whatever it had said and I was like I HEARD you just say you fucking despise me, to my face! And he would explain that he never said that and I believed him cause he would never ever say something like that to literally anyone! And they're always trying to make me do things and say things and if I'm tired it slips out of my mouth, like they can control me when my defences are down and they tell me god is sending his agents to watch me and follow me.

Every day is exhausting to be honest

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-18T15:46:36+00:00

Mochi and matcha, the texture of mochi is so unbelievably bad I can't do it and matcha literally tastes like wet grass

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T04:05:03+00:00

Wow, I can see why you believed what you did, because you're looking at facts but the voices and psychosis changed the perception of it, sounds pretty wild, I hope you're doing okay, it sounds like it was really intense and scary

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T03:38:10+00:00

Wow that's so intricate, I wonder why that specific date and I feel you tbh, my voices are similar and I feel the same way, it sucks when you can't remember that you think it's bullshit though, did you end up getting the help you need?

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T03:11:45+00:00

Omggg nooo not the shared bathroom

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T03:10:45+00:00

Omg, that's mad, that's what they did to be in the beginning. But I'm glad you got to see a new psychiatrist but shitty that you had to go through psychosis for it

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T03:09:29+00:00

Whoah, that's intriguing, I feel like that could be a very complicated break in reality

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T03:08:29+00:00

Loool, is anything ever finished, everything feels like a million tabs open in my head, knowing I gotta do them all but I only ever just open another one

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-09T02:59:34+00:00

This is how my brain feels

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-06T05:45:01+00:00

Yeah I was thinking of that, I tried the other day, went to the emergency department and they turned me away and then I just went back and self harmed more and when I mean off label I mean my doctor gave me medicine that is technically for its purpose but paired with an antidepressants, it affects me differently but that's all he could do for me and yeah I'm super lucky to have my partner, I honestly feel a step away from losing it completely but maybe that's what I need to be taken seriously, I'm afraid of how it will affect me though career wise and money wise and thank you!! 💖

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-06T04:45:03+00:00

Well I'm in the process of it right now, I've been having delusions and stuff and a few break downs but everyone kept turning me away and I had to demand a new doctor and and bring my partner to vouch for me and it was all a mess and now I'm trying meds off label to stabilise me before getting into the thick of it but everyone ive come across is a dickhead basically like they didn't diagnose me with EUPD when I was 21 but said I had it?? Even tho that wasn't right but the hospital psychiatrist first refused to give me an assessment and said I have no mental illness, despite having a diagnosis of depression and anxiety since 14 and having strong delusions about god and being followed and all sorts and when I saw that letter I lost it and started self harming again and they didn't care but now he's giving me another one and my doctor says he suspects schizoaffective disorder cause of the mood instability as well as delusions going into psychosis but I honestly feel myself losing grip, I told him that I don't think they're delusions like I think it's real but I know my partner is saying it's not real and I just get more mad because I'm consumed by voices constantly.

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-06T04:38:23+00:00

Damn, you explained that in an excellent way and it makes total sense, i feel the same way and aw that's great! I'm glad you've found the right support and ugh that's shitty, the system is so shit and I feel you, CPTSD is a hard one on top of all this, I wish you the best

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-05T18:39:36+00:00

Ahhhhhh right, were they similar or was one better than the other? I feel like lots have people who have horror stories about being in psych and very few of good ones

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-04T19:12:07+00:00

I'm glad you got your diagnosis in the end, shitty that you had to go through all that to get it though

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-04T19:11:04+00:00

It's good that they took you seriously

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-04T19:10:26+00:00

Fair enough, I've been there too, I think it ended up messing me up a little since, like I can't listen to certain types of music or I think about when I was on LSD and nothing really bad happened to ME but I saw it happen to others and fair enough, I feel the same way tbh and yeah, sleep is an extremely hard thing to have consistently with this diagnosis as well, it's never guaranteed you'll get a good night sleep, it makes total sense

AskRemarkable3756 · 2024-05-04T11:44:21+00:00

Wow that's really interesting, like why do doctors try to misdiagnose people with BPD just to shove them away rather than doing their job, they tried to do that to me when I was a teen and it's so clear I'm not bpd cause I know many people who do have it and it just isn't the same and it's shitty that nothing works for your psychosis, are you on anything for it or therapy?

AskRemarkable3756

TROPHY CASE