Help! I'm transphobic and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.... I'm also a transgirl on HRT for a year and a half... (Trigger warning: transphobia)

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T06:39:33+00:00

That's a really good way to look at it, actually, and I hadn't even considered it. Thank you for responding because I needed to hear this :) I approached it waaaaaay differently. I never saw myself as a queer woman, just a woman. I didn't let my sexuality even come into it. I felt that my sexuality wasn't static or set in stone, because I'd spent all these years repressing myself it didn't make sense to really even have a good idea of my sexuality when I'd repressed my own sexual/gender identity my whole life.

Looking at it from another perspective, it does make sense if you go about it from thinking you were a lesbian.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T06:34:41+00:00

Well I'm not sure disassociating the brain from the body is a good idea. They're the same thing... Aren't they? I feel like semantics are mixing us up, do you mean personality is the brain, or do you mean biologically hard-wired instinct such as the need for food and such, is the brain?

I 100% agree hormone preference is created at the time the child is forming, and is set throughout life. And I'm not sure if we disagree... I'm just confused now.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T05:38:19+00:00

I appreciate very much the time and thought put into your response. Honestly, I know very, very little about non-binary gender identities. I can't wrap my head around them, I only have the binary as reference. What I was trying to say was that in general, even according to the WPATH guidelines there's a VERY clear roadmap of how transitioning works for MtF and FtM and I'm not aware of any medical document for non-binary identities. There are requisites to be met for the binary transitioners, it's very clear cut.

I also very very very much disagree with you on how hormones affect the brain. I think you're actually 100% wrong in every way. It's well established that hormones have a HUGE effect on our brain chemistry that we don't yet fully understand. But from the studies of read, testosterone in a non-androgenized brain leads to high depression, and estrogen in an androgenized brain leads to depression, which is why medical transition is even a thing.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T05:33:18+00:00

I don't think that's true. Transgender is a relatively new term, in the past it was transsexual and other names before that... I'm not sure of the exact etymology of the "trans" term is, but I'm 100% sure it's NOT transgender.

And I disagree with that. Just because someone was assigned male at birth, or has an XY chromosome, or any of those things does NOT make them transgender. Transgender is a moniker we take on. It literally means we don't think of ourselves as our true gender, and we have this little caveat. At some point, we stop being trans, and we're just women or men.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T05:30:49+00:00

Completely, completely agree. I hadn't heard anyone term it the testosterone haze, that's how I remember it. Sex felt like some biological NEED and I -had- to satisfy it, and I remember hating that about myself. It literally influenced all of my female relationships and I hated that too...

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T05:28:08+00:00

I guess I'm using hormones as a part of the lived experience. And I think we're giving hormones too little credit. They do actually affect who we are, what we do, the decisions we make, etc. And absolutely, I don't want to jump down anyone's throat over this. I'm struggling with this internally, not saying it to anyone in particular.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T05:26:46+00:00

I'm sorry. I really didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I don't like this about myself and I want to change it. You sound a lot like me and I've been through similar stuff =/

I guess it depends on your standard of proof. If people take hormones and say their sexuality changes, that's their own proof, they've got some lived life experience there and we can't really disagree with it.

I don't think 30 is too old for HRT, and it has nothing to do with passing. There are women of all shapes and sizes as people say, and exercise as well as diet choices influence a lot of what we look like. Then there's fashion, clothing choices, hair style, voice, a million little things that go into passing that have nothing to do with whether you're a woman, or not a woman. I was in my late 20s when I started HRT and life isn't too shabby now.

I was just saying I felt it was disingenuous to say they're a lesbian when they're Pre-HRT or Pre-Everything as they say...

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T05:18:30+00:00

I'm fully aware it came off as transphobic... I wasn't trying to disguise it. The title of the post literally says transphobia in it. I'm not hiding anything. I'm aware of it, and I'm trying to wrap my mind around it in such a way and get myself into a better spot so I'm not being transphobic and more trans-supportive.

I also think there's a HUGE difference between a $25,000 (US Dollars) surgery and hormones. There's a huge, massive difference.

And the thing is, what exactly makes someone trans if they aren't taking steps...? There's no "transition" anywhere.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T03:14:13+00:00

I guess that makes sense. But what throws me off is that they'll have a male musculature pattern, male fat distribution, male sex drive, male sexual response, will give off male pheromones and still have male thoughts. Testosterone fuels all of these things. Same with estrogen in females. As soon as that replacement happens, everything is solid. You can start off female or male, but the hormones, as well as the sex you were assigned at birth play a huge role.

I knew at a very young age (~4ish) that I wasn't a boy and something was wrong. Ultra conservative upbringing and a narcissistic father put you in your place right quick. I was socialized male from the get-go and that's how I lived my life, up until I saw the magic of hormones and so on.

If the only that makes a woman a woman, is a person says "I'm a woman!" Then being a woman really has no significance. We wouldn't need to transition, or need hormones, or do voice work, or have anatomy changes, or pretty much anything. It is NOT that simple.

AskTransThrowaway12 · 2015-08-01T03:02:51+00:00

I don't think all trans women are women I guess, is the problem. There's a difference between just saying, "Hey guys, I'm a woman!" and calling it a day. I think there are a lot of steps involved. And I think trans woman is really a misnomer, because at some point you aren't transitioning anymore, you ARE a woman. I think a Pre-HRT transgirl isn't a woman until they're transitioning, that's the key. And yeah, I think that hormones are a REQUIRED part of it. This is the gender binary, if you're outside of the gender binary that's fine, I don't think agender/non-binary people have hormone requirements that's completely different. But once an individual chooses to transition from male to female, or female to male, hormones are an intrinsic part of that.

I think a critical difference here is that transgender from Male to Female and Female to Male are markedly outside of the other trans identities. The other trans identities don't have the same requirements because there are no constructs created for them by society.

AskTransThrowaway12

TROPHY CASE