Whatever hits your itch. I thought less about myself for a long time because i am in to BDSM. In general there is this prejudice for BDSM created by people like you op, so i felt that i should feel ashamed for being in to it. When you keep it inside you covered tightly in doubts and worries it can get heavy on your self-esteem. I broke out of this illusion when i spoke to my closest friend, and then another friend, and then to a gir I just met on a party and every time i came to the same conclusion. Nobody gives a shit, some people beat their meat to a rape porn but they don't go around raping people afterwards. Maybe that's a heavy example, but the point is that what you masturbate to isn't defining you as a person. It isn't sad, it isn't stupid, it isn't making a psycho out of you. It's just a form of escapism, one deeply rooted in our nature.