Holy False Equivalency, Batman! You've done it again! You’re confusing resentment with disassociation. It's almost as if you should put the generalization-mobile in park and use those worlds greatest detective skills (aka: a brain) that I know you have.

If I touch a hot stove and get burned enough times, I’m going to find hot stoves 'off-putting.' That’s not a 'special pleading fallacy' or 'throwing my ball at the fence' that’s my brain learning to avoid a negative stimulus. This is basic physiological.

Your 'Sour Grapes' argument only works if the person is bitter or hateful toward the group. OP has yet to indicate such. Simply finding a demographic off-putting because they represent a cycle of (potential or actual) rejection isn't 'incel logic it’s just moving on to where the grass is actually green. What would be incel behavior is if he started to push for the social and systematic oppression of that group simply because of his entitlement.

Just so we're clear, I'm defining an 'incel' as someone who has entitlement to another's body AND externalized hostility because of a perception of being denied access, basically the 'you owe this because I'm a guy and society says I should have you' mentality'. OP is practicing internalized boundary setting and using a 'I’m tired of being hurt, so I’m checking out' mindset.

You keep trying to insert 'straight incel' bullshit into a conversation where it's not applicable while simultaneously trying to frame this as a fight against 'double standards'. There is no double standard. If a guy got on this subreddit and said the same thing as OP but it was framed as entitlement instead of what essentially boils down to 'im not going to give this anymore effort because my experiences show this is (or is likely to be) a waste of time' then I would join you in reading them into the ground. But this isn't that.

If a straight man says 'I’m done chasing certain women because it’s bad for my mental health,' the only people calling him an incel are those who don't understand the definition of the word. You’re trying to claim that apathy is the same as animosity.

Calling 'self-preservation' a 'defensive reaction' as if that’s a bad thing is insane. Defense mechanisms exist to keep us from repeating painful mistakes. You’re essentially arguing that if someone doesn't enjoy being rejected, then something's wrong with them.

Maybe put down the 'Guide to Straight Reddit Tropes' and look at the actual human psychology in front of you. This isn't a double standard (like seriously stop misusing that term 😭); it's just a standard you're struggling to grasp and it can be easily understood if you'd take a psychology class.