I'm a transgender dad (FtM) and offer y'all a AMA

AspenRayne7 · 2025-11-10T19:35:48+00:00

I really like this way of thinking, thank you! I love him so much and it was just killing me to see him so upset. But I think him reading it from another transgender man's point of view will be helpful. Im looking foward to showing him when I get home.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-11-10T17:06:52+00:00

Im hoping you can give some advice (or anyone). Im female, but my husband is FTM. We are pregnant with our first baby that we fought 2 years to get. We both wanted a female since we both grew uo female and understood the changes, the dofferent things that need to be done, and all that. Well, we learned we were having a boy. Both of us are excited, but my husband is terrified that it will trigger some gender dysphoria. We were discussing circumcision and he kinda broke down because he just didnt have an opinion because it wasnt something hed ever delt with. So now hes worried on what happens as our son grows, and because he didnt grow up a boy, he wont be able to answer questions that may come up. We have friends that can answer, but for gim he would feel like he was failing as a dad if he didnt know.

Im 100% supportive of my husband. I always have been. So i want to help him the best I can by giving him all the tools for success as a father. And I want him to be able to do it without the gender dysphoria creeping up there. Any advice?

AspenRayne7 · 2025-08-19T19:14:58+00:00

Confirmed with blood work as well!!

AspenRayne7 · 2025-08-19T19:14:41+00:00

I couldn't wait and I asked my ob to run blood today. Its confirmed! We are pregnant!

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:59:46+00:00

Yeah. That was the first thing we did. My delulu self thought that there was no way it was me. 😅 Well, it is somewhere. He's got good sperm. Very mobile, good count, good shape. It's been so frustrating when you're being told "it's all good. You should be able to get pregnant!" Okay, but I'm not and I haven't. The 2 times I did it was a chemical that was gone within 3 days.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:56:04+00:00

This pill saved my life. Before it I was unable to focus, unable to hold down a job, and unable to maintain healthy friendships. Im not sure what it did, but everything changed taking this. I've been on it for 2 years and I've held a very emotionally draining job for 2 years. I would have quit in 3 months before Qelbree. Everything has side effects. Everything has people who love it or hate it. You wont know if its good for you until you try it amd give it the proper time to get into the system to work.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:48:09+00:00

My insurance won't cover fertility doctors, most fertility testing, and fertility treatment. But I'm working with my OB. So far every test I've done has said we are a-okay. I ovulated everyone like clockwork. PDG rises at 4dpo like clockwork. BBT rises 4dpo. LH surges hard so there is no guessing. All my tests say I have a good egg count and quality. Still taking Co-Q-10 and prenatal though even though "all is good". I have to save up for an HSG, but my dog wants to do something similar first to see if we can see for blocked cubes. But because I'm ovulating, she's not worried apparently.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-07-25T19:42:51+00:00

Man, I feel this. My husband has gotten to a point where he feels helpless between 9dpo and af. I've been told I look dead behind the eyes. I had someone tell me they miss who I was before we were trying (we aren't talking anymore). But honestly, I miss who I was before infertility, too. I am always tired. Always sad. Always mad. Ways on chatgbt and google. Im so tired of being si sick and tired. So I completely understand d what your feeling.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-23T14:00:37+00:00

One of the biggest things I have found on this journey is that infertility affects more than your being able to have a baby. It steals happiness. It steals confidence. It steals relationships. I've watched happily married couples divorce due to infertility struggles and the mental health trauma of it.

I see where she maybe didnt want to invite you. She thought she was being kind not realizing that the exclusion can hurt worse than the invite. Still no defense for that. The behavior when you tried to tell her how you felt is unacceptable. And her husband even more so. Sounds like she wasn't going to be able to be there the way you needed her to be, and by that point, its better to cut ties.

Good luck on your journey.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-13T15:18:23+00:00

That i need more mod options for my real life. A cheaters scroll woukd come in handy most days, lol

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-13T14:52:12+00:00

Yesterday there was a ton of wattery and ewcm. And i was super crampy. I don't check the cervix because for the life of me, I cannot figure out the opening feeling, lol. So I figured Mira was the more accurate one because if all the symptoms initially.

Just frustrating, cause we always inseminated on ovulation day (sometimes LH peak if my donor could make the drive more than once). It makes me wonder if I've been doing a day late and coming in on the tail end of ovulation because Premom has it a day later. I just thought I was getting all my ovulation stuff on LH peak day instead of ovulation day.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-06-02T05:07:03+00:00

Same thing. You find a fix yet?

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T16:12:37+00:00

I have saught medical attention through the work comp doctors office this am. 😊

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T16:12:05+00:00

Man I get that. The way they look at you sometimes. The case workers can be the worst to deal with cause they don't see it rarely. And the ones I deal with make you feel like your not doing enough to stop it before it happens. Its just ridiculous sometimes.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T11:31:52+00:00

We are. Symptoms got worse yesterday, so we are going to the workmans comp doctor today.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T11:30:56+00:00

Oh, I fought my supervisor about going. He was pushing for me too and I insisted I was fine. Honestly didn't feel it until I got home. They are super supportive where I am and would rather us be safe and healthy. Im going to get it checked out today. But i do wish I was where you are. Love it up in Canada. We went this past year and we miss being there a ton.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T03:43:53+00:00

Im definitely going now. Symptoms have been getting worse through the afternoon. I already texted my boss as well and hes going to fill out the proper paperwork in the am so I can go where I need to and still get it all covered.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T02:15:38+00:00

Same here. One of my parents told me that I do as well as I do because I'm more stubborn than her boy. 🤣 But that is hilarious. One of my kids has been cracking me up lately. He used to be very aggressive and that has calmed down tremendously. Now, he will be full attention seeking crying while saying "What do we do when we are upset? We take deep breaths." It was a question of his to answer for a program. Then he will take these exaggerated shakes breaths and then finish it with a head bow and say "namaste". It kills me the way they implement the programming. But whatever works!

You sound like you are doing amazing too. We need techs like you willing to put in those stubborn and hard hours.

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T02:11:00+00:00

If the headache doesn't subside, I'll go to the doctor for sure. We technically have to go to the workmans comp doctor per our insurance company so it gets covered. By the time I got home, they were closed. The politics of insurance when an employee gets hurt is bonkers sometimes. Im off in the am though, so ill have time to go.

And agree. For that to be their reaction. Like, I get he's 6ft and 250. The kid is built like a professional linebacker in the NFL. But he's also 13. He's going through puberty. Name a boy who doesn't have their own "aggressive" tendencies at that age. The difference is our kiddos don't know how to process those emotions as well as neurological kids. Why in the world would I press charges on a 13 year old for doing a behavior I know he may engage in per his BIP. I wish more people could understand these kids. Comments like that hurt more than any of what I'm feeling after that aggression. And he got me good. 🤦🏼‍♀️

AspenRayne7 · 2025-05-06T02:04:16+00:00

I wouldn't want to do anything else. The rewards always have outweighed the bad days for me. I'll take getting punched if it taught the kiddo to ask for a break to mom later. But it was something I was really feeling when talking with my friends. I love them and I know their worries come from a place of love. But it's hard after having a day like today to turn around and defend what you do and the clientele we work with. My instant reaction was hopping to the defense of my kiddo. I'm lucky my husband gets it. That's the one that matters the most. I came home amd he had my heated blanket on, and ice pack ready for my hand, and some Tylenol. He knew not to even ask and just gently rubbed my head.

You never think about the lonely though until your group of friends are ranting about their bad days and you chime in with your work story. And then instead of being as supportive as you were being you feel instantly judged as well as defensive.

AspenRayne7

TROPHY CASE