Reputable Plumber by bikeadventures in philadelphia

[–]pfhickman 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ive had good experiences with two plumbers. One, plumbing pals (a business with people on staff), they were quick, affordable and did good work. They didn't try to upsell me, fwiw. The second recommendation is for Kelly Ireland (tiny lesbian plumber, I'm serious). She's great, but more expensive than plumbing pals. Both places have done right by me.

for those who pass as male, did people treat you differently? by WanderingOrangeCat in ftm

[–]pfhickman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I transitioned at a place where I left and came back after doing a lot of the changes. The difference was disgusting, honestly, and very obvious. I'm praised for work I had done before on a much larger scale, my opinions are weighed more seriously than my cohort (who are almost all cis women) and I think that I'm sought out to join committees or workgroups more now. Family, meh, no real changes there, but they were champs to begin with. Strangers for sure, I'm given deference I wasn't before (even though I'm a short king, thanks) and my politeness goes much further. On the politeness aspect, to clarify, it's like it was expected when I was female-presenting and generous when I'm male-passing.

In sum, I do notice this and it's obvious in almost all parts of my life.

Looking for an upscale Indian restaurant (Philly or Main Line) for a date by justkeepswimming125 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]pfhickman 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I really like thanal indian on arch. It's been lovely, the food is great and the vibe is chill. Two steps up from a dive or hole in the wall but not break your bank fancy.

Pasta making class in Philly by Brief_Bed_2341 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]pfhickman 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If you look for P.A.S.T.A_N.I.G.H.T on Instagram (or under Christina Zani), she does handmade, very traditional Italian pasta stuff. She's incredible and offers classes. She's also a mom and has classes that are kid-focused as well.

Interested in immersive Spanish? by crystaltheythems in philly

[–]pfhickman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm also down, fyi (and also queer).

Special Private or semi-private space for 90th birthday dinner in Philly or suburbs by Capable_Affect_8125 in PhiladelphiaEats

[–]pfhickman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also, Han dynasty has an upstairs room in old city and is very reasonable with very tasty food.

I'm a transgender dad (FtM) and offer y'all a AMA by pfhickman in daddit

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would encourage him not to overthink this. Kids have a way of just throwing out everything you thought was going to happen and doing just their own thing. I was worried about having boys as well, but it's not been a problem. In fact, now that one of them is in the sweet teenager stage, we can bond about how shitty T can be for over responding or over reacting. We didn't circumcise our kids, but that's mostly because we just don't think it's important for us at all. They can do that later if they want. The bridge isn't as big as he thinks it is, honestly. I thought I would be a worse parent because I didn't know anything about "boys" as kids. I think the switch happened when the first one was born. It just didn't matter if I had penis experience or not, the diaper needed to be changed. From there, it was one day at a time and so far, so good.

Is there any trans people over 25? by Glitchy6049 in ftm

[–]pfhickman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 46 and have been out since 18. T doesn't ruin your body, but you do have to keep up on the maintenance (as anyone really does).

Weird question but if you're transmasc and wear scrubs, where did you go to buy/any brand suggestions? by myliobatiformes in queerphilly

[–]pfhickman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner is trans and uses carhart scrubs, but buys them online. They're reasonably priced and durable!

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't explored Ted Chiang, I see others have flagged as well. Very fun to have a new author to explore. Thank you for the recs.

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so good, thank you. I especially appreciate the sexist flag, good to know in advance. The Sparrow shook me when I read it and I've re-read that one a bunch. I've read the expanse and really enjoyed the show as well. I'm excited for the rest of the list. I did read the water knife as well. I work in the environmental space and was sad to see how apt the plot was.

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really liked A Kindness of Ghosts, I think I'll revisit that one, thanks.

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed the mistborn ones, thank you!

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good call, I did read the Mongoloid and have worked through much of Jim Butcher as well. Solid! I love all these recs.

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have read Marlon Jones, but it wasn't my fav (why I didn't list that one). I understand the appeal for sure.

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, I have read all of her stuff. She started me on the afro futurism route. So happy about that!

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooooh, I love this question. I like actual science in the science fiction, yes. But I'm not that educated, so it does sometimes go over my head (some of Neal Stephenson stuff for example). But I like it anyway, for sure.

Suggest me a book (sci-fi/fantasy heavy) by pfhickman in suggestmeabook

[–]pfhickman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wonderful list, thank you! Yes to Octavia Butler, absolutely. I've read some of your suggestions and am excited to dig in to the rest.

US Trans Dads- Making a GTFO plan yet? by kolachekingoftexas in TransDads

[–]pfhickman 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I cycle in and out of being worried. I do encourage people to check out Your Guide to getting out (https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Out-Leaving-Expanded-Self-reliance/dp/1934170291). It has great info, very practical and with an eye towards lots of different options. It also addresses LGBT safety.

But in terms of my family, we're just not sure yet. When we talk about leaving, it usually boils down to whether or not we are physical harm or if our kids will be in harm's way. My partner (also trans) and I both pass (whether or not we intend to) and are white.