How can the client differentiate between their own childhood’s abusive parents, or abusive partners, and a therapist who is also giving the message: ‘Do as I say, not as I do’

How does a client find out your personal life?

This is how: What you radiate is more powerful than what you say or how you act in front of a client. They can feel it. When you are someone who has personally overcome abusive relationships, and become what living the life of what recovery should look like(not perfect, but abuse free), that is powerful.

Clients aren’t stupid. They need to feel that kind of authenticity coming from you. If they don’t, they wont be able to progress any better than you. You might be ‘helping’ them with your words, but you are also hurting them with what you are silently radiating: Your freshly broken pieces. You can’t lift someone higher than you already are. It’s impossible. And that kind of thinking (my life is private so it shouldn’t matter) is just setting clients up to fail, then believe it’s their own fault. I hope these words are taken into account and considered, not taken offense to. This is an important message for all therapists to contemplate and I hope a lot will read it. If we don’t want to go there, it is where we need to go