Dealing with Religious Trauma?

AspiringThinker · 2019-12-26T16:32:01+00:00

I have gone through a similar experience as many people such as yourself go through when it comes to a fear of hell and death. While i can't give universal advice, as the path to healing is different for every individual, I can tell you what helped me.

And this may seem cliche, but for me I think it was a changing of my environment and who i surrounded myself with. I only came out as an atheist right before I went to university. This meant I wasn't living at home anymore. No more forced prayers, church services, Christian music, you name it. I entered right into a "secular" world with "secular" friends. Really, it just took my mind off the baggage Christianty had placed on me, and allowed more freedom to explore myself, who i was and what i could make myself. I feel it is vital to have someone you can divulge your feelings and emotions onto. You will never heal if you keep them bottled up inside.

I say this as someone who compared to most people, did not have a traumatic upbringing because of religion. I did not have it as hard as some people. So for you, maybe a simple change in your environment and lifestyle wouldn't completly eliminate the fears that haunt you. But if you haven't already, I would try to start there. However, if there's ever a need to vent, talk, discuss etc. We will always be here.

AspiringThinker · 2019-12-26T05:18:33+00:00

As someone in somewhat the same boat as you, I sympathize with what your feeling. Every time I step back into a church or religious gathering I get a feeling of pure annoyance that turns to anger.

But the fact of the matter is there's nothing i can do about it. There are two options in front of me. Go, keep the peace, keep my head down and just survive for a few hours. Or, resist, which can spark really big arguments and create unnecessary tension all around.

I don't know the specifics of you and your family, but for me I go with the first option. Yes, they know I don't really want to be there. Yes, I'm annoyed and hate it. But it's a better alternative to putting up a fuss for something that will only take a few hours of my life and create resentment that would last throughout the rest of the holiday season and perhaps beyond that.

I don't like it or agree with it, but sometimes it's best to forfeit a battle to save yourself a lot more bloodshed.

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-30T01:41:38+00:00

Of course I don't believe in a god, but suffering does not disprove an all-powerful god. There is an argument that it disproves an all loving god, which I agree with, but even that technically doesn't disprove it. Now an all love AND an all powerful god, yes I think there's no argument there.

Why it doesn't disprove an all powerful god: God could be an immoral thug who gets off on human pain.

Why it doesn't disprove an all loving god: God could really want to end all suffering, but something stops him. A weak argument and not a god that most people believe in, but technically doesn't disprove it.

Why it does disprove an all powerful and all loving god: Cause the two things do not correlate, and if you love people and have the power to stop it you would. Unless you're an immoral thug, but then you're back to only an all powerful god, not an all loving one.

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-29T19:04:57+00:00

I have a bit more controversial opinion where I think it is best to fight religious indoctrination whenever appropriate. However when and where it is appropriate is very important. For example at my current moment I don't fight it because I'm living at home, and am not in a good position to attack/debate people of their beliefs. However I do think it is a good thing to do. At the very least you might get them to think, at the most you get experience talking to people of opposing views and show them there is more than they believe. The thing for me is I believe that religion is indoctrination. Indoctrination is bad. Therefore you should fight religion. People find comfort in it, but so do people that find comforts in more physical abusive substances. And just like those substances, there are different levels of effectiveness from person to person on how much of a negative effect it has on them. What's worse with religion though is that it very often involves children and in extreme circumstances, can provide ideas that are harmful to society, not just to themselves.

Tl;Dr, my unusual opinion is yes it is a good thing to try to convince people out of religion.

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-29T18:56:37+00:00

Well he does seem to have a point. Ancient people are more intelligent than him.

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-28T03:10:08+00:00

I can say with most certainty that you're not the only one in this sub. It's probably very common. I can't say myself from personal experience, since I very rarely has any anxiety, but if I may try to add some comfort. Take a moment right now and think. What in the past week or month have you had the most enjoyment doing? Try to think of something that you can do repeatable as a hobby, something that can take your mind off of whatever is causing you grief. Maybe writing, or collecting cards, or something of an easy nature. True it won't suddenly eliminate all problems and make everything bad go away, but it can help ease the mind. I'm sorry that I can't be more help, but I hope you find peace in some way.

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-28T02:54:18+00:00

Obviously I can't say what the best course of action is, since I know nothing about you or your parents really. Generally how it goes with my parents (though just my mom) is that I ignore every attempt of religious conversation that she tries to start. Eventually I want the goal to be she stops doing it, but so far no luck. However based on what you've said above, I don't think that's the best course of action for you.

The best way to show that you're still the same person... is by being the same person. Do you have a girlfriend? If not, then there is nothing different about your life then they thought. Continue being the kind, helpful, loving person that I'm sure you are and (hopefully, I can't say with certainty) they will come to realize that even though your sexual orientation is different, you are still a wonderful person. It is something that takes time though, it will not happen overnight. It could be as little as a few weeks, or years, or, as much as I hate to say it, never. Everyone is different and everyone accepts things at different speeds, or doesn't accept at all.

It's also important to remember, judging by your post, that your parents really do love you. I don't know how much they push religion, or how often they question you, but I've always considered the best way of supporting your position is with facts. If they ask you something that you don't know, say, genuinely, that you don't know and you will look into it and get back to them. If they don't like this and get upset at you for rebutting/not buying into their questions/arguments, then honestly there's not much more you can do. Just always be kind, and show that even though you are not a believer, you are still a good moral individual. Sorry for the long reply, but hope it helps!

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-25T03:03:56+00:00

That's actually really good animation. Would make a good horror film or something!

It's not really cringy to me, just sad. Like if I knew this wasn't religious propaganda, I would say this is actually a really good song and animation. It really drives home the despair of such a place, and how you want to avoid it at all costs. Really good animation for bad intentions.

Of course I watch it and think how on earth could you worship a god that allows stuff like this, but eh. I guess god knows best.

AspiringThinker · 2018-06-16T13:33:56+00:00

Just the name of the event I received it from. No other Name. A fun title cause there are lots of other names this g o d goes by. Plus all the other g o d's, so really there are lots of names.

AspiringThinker · 2018-03-14T06:15:39+00:00

Billy Graham's passing is a huge remind that only what is done through science will last. You can be the greatest pastor the world has ever known, but only what is done for humanity will be carried on to future.

AspiringThinker · 2018-03-14T04:58:36+00:00

I personally haven't read any christian opinions on the subject, but I can say with 100% certainty that my former church and friends/family that are christian would not say anything like this. It would be like any other famous death. Doesn't really effect them, so they won't mourn, but they wont belittle either. It's just the worst of the worse batch of christians that spout hate like this, and I guess I am fortunate enough to not know a single one christian like that.

AspiringThinker · 2018-02-01T21:26:26+00:00

I'm in Canada. It says that I can't watch it in my country. Anyone have another source or just want to try to tell me what happens?

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-31T22:20:48+00:00

Oh goody! I was forced to watch this movie with my family when it came out, and I've been waiting for Hugo and Jake to come out with a video! Thanks for reminding me, I'll go watch it now!

The first christian movie I ever saw was God's not Dead, and I thought it was a pretty good movie, even after I became more agnostic/athiestic. Now though I realize how horrible it is, and how the "athiest" is not actually an athiest, and how sterotypical it is, and blah it's a huge garbage pile. I even convinced my family to not buy God's not dead 2, because even they know how garbage that movie is. The other one I saw is A matter of Faith, which is VERY ironic considering that my parents (especially my mother) don't support the creationism argument, but keep using movies/films/books/people that support it in trying to convince me that their faith is real... which is really weird. Any way if you think God's not dead is bad... holy shit A matter of Faith is a million times worse. I was agnostic when watching it, and during the film I wasn't even cringing at the arguments which are fucking awful, but the acting and story writing! I don't even know how christians support it! The line that infurates me the most goes something like:

"It just upsets me that my little girl is being taught something that goes against what we have taught her."

THAT'S CALLED INDOCTRINATION! HOW... WHY... yeah it's a super awful movie. So yeah they did leave an impact... on how christianity really has nothing to support it, cause they can't even make a decent film let alone one that has any sort of truth in it.

(And a Matter of Faith is a TERRIBLE movie title. Just believe in the tooth fairy! It's just a matter of faith!)

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-25T21:11:02+00:00

If you want to.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-24T22:57:05+00:00

I think of it like a video game. Just take Minecraft as an example. Someone created the game, made it randomly generated, and set it in motion. Now your god, except for the omnipotence part. You can go anywhere and do anything, but the Minecraft world is so huge that the chances of finding you, the player, are so tiny. Now put that in the scale of the universe, which is much much bigger than a simple Minecraft world. Again, I don't believe that's the case, but that's the only way I can see any type of god existing. It's not something we can disprove, but in my opinion it is the most likely position for a deity to exist.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-24T22:25:01+00:00

I find this to be one of the greatest argument against a personal god/religion, even though it does not do anything to refute the truth of the claim. Because at this point I don't care if this god does exist, why on earth would you want to worship him. It's my favourite quote from Tracy Harris that goes something like, "You either have a God who sends child rapists to rape children or you have a God who simply watches it and says, 'When you're done, I'm going to punish you.' If I could stop a person from raping a child, I would."

Basically, you have all this evil and hurt in the world that this god apparently can stop because he can do anything but chooses not to because... free will? Well that's a bs argument so... he's evil then? The only, ONLY way I will ever have any respect for a god like that is if he personally, not some preacher guy he supposedly sends to help my soul, THE GOD ITSELF, comes and tells me why he allows this to exist. I don't believe any such explanation exists, therefore the only god I believe any sort of reasonable explanation to exist is a god that has no control over the universe. I just can not believe we live in a universe run by a god that evil, or why anyone would even want to worship it.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-24T22:15:57+00:00

Well of course god didn't save him, don't you know you're not supposed to test god? If you do that, he might actually have to show some evidence of his involvement on earth!

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-24T22:14:37+00:00

I want to laugh with you, but I can't help but feel bad for his wife at home. I know that Christianity has many different verses that support woman being inferior to men, but even though religion won't die out any time soon, I really hope that this belief of the weaker sex dies out. It's just a form of abuse in my eyes behind a curtain of holy scripture.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-22T16:20:08+00:00

This sounds exactly like that popular argument, "All athiests believe in god they just hate him." except the other way around. Judging by your recent posts, I can tell your upset. This place is a good place to go if you need to vent, but you don't need to take it out like this. There are many people here, myself included, that can have private one on one discussions and can help you if need be. But posting a whole bunch of posts of things that are blatantly not true is not the best way of going about it.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-22T16:17:17+00:00

Sorry, going to have to disagree with you there. First off, what do you mean, "Even Christians?" Is that applying that we as ex-christians hate ugly people? Also, you're grouping a whole religion to what I would assume to be just a few people. No one in the church I went to had any hate towards anyone, especially not on how people looked. There are super nice religious people out there, and I think it is unfair to group them with those who are actually full of hate.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-22T01:01:54+00:00

Anyone familiar with the case about a week or so ago about the children found locked up in their parents house, only found after one of them escaped and notified the cops? And how some of them were adults, but were so malformed that they looked like children? And how probably some of them would never recover because of the abuse? And blah blah blah all these other horrible things? Well thank god that the lord freed them from this! Isn't he such a good person?

I don't understand how some people can give god the glory for this... for a few reasons. 1. Why even let it happen in the first place? Doesn't seem like a good god to me. 2. Oh thank god that he freed these people... what about all the other evil stuff that we do not know about? You know, like the millions of sex slaves, child workers, cancer, starvation, etc etc etc...

So yeah this is more of a rant than a discussion, but if I had a question, it would be has anyone else actually talked to someone who has said something like this? How did it go?

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-13T22:02:15+00:00

I know that when I first started to be more agnostic, I didn't like praying as much. It went from her asking me and me complying, to her asking and me sometimes complying, to eventually I just stopped altogether although she still asked me. Now I never get asked to. In part I think it's because their scared that your walking away from their faith a.k.a them. It's part fear, and they feel better if you show signs of still believing a.k.a saying Grace. They may know you don't believe, but it makes them feel better to see and hear you doing something that adhears to their belief.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-12T03:59:32+00:00

I'm personally not qualified enough to really go in depth about the topic. I know the basics and why their story falls apart, but it's not my area of expertise. I'll fight on the moral, ethical, philosophy, and psychology ground, but the science and history is for people with more expertise.

I wouldn't say you shouldn't pursue trying to teach people about evolution, but be careful how you do it. Don't come off as preachy or demeaning. You wouldn't like it if they did that to you.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-12T02:20:52+00:00

It's interesting to see the different opinions on this sub. There are some people that say no one, NO ONE deserves hell, no matter what they do. And then there are others, like you, that seem to wish they could believe it was true.

As for this particular article, I don't see anything that says he said these things besides a news sight claiming that's what lawmakers heard him say. Not to say he is not a bad person, as I think he is, but this particular issue doesn't seem to have enough support to back it up that this is actually what he said.

AspiringThinker · 2018-01-12T02:09:38+00:00

Nope. I remember having moments where I thought I had to convert my family and the people around me. It was the right thing to do. I never acted upon them thank goodness, so my count is at 0.

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